Funnyface
by totallymindless
Summary: The graduating class of 1977 contained an odd variety of students: pranksters, lovers, know it alls, tomboys, and loners but they all had one thing in common. Soon they would have to leave Hogwarts' safe walls and take part in a war they did not create.
1. Chapter 1

Funnyface

Chapter One

_Lily_ _Lessons_

The television flickered off as the leading couple floated across the pond in each other's arms with the soft music of their love song drifting in the background.

"That was complete and utter rubbish. Biggest waste of three hours ever!" exclaimed James Potter, the messy-haired boy sitting on the floor of the Potter home's 'muggle room'.

"James, you idiot, _FunnyFace_ is a great movie. You just don't understand musicals, or love for that matter," the blonde girl lying on the couch above him replied, whacking him on the head with her pillow for good measure. "Plus, Sirius liked it," she added as an afterthought, sitting up and glancing at Sirius.

James followed her gaze to his teary-eyed best friend, sitting on the love seat directly across from the television with a box of tissues. "What? It was such a happy ending." Sirius Black sniffed, wiping his eyes with an already damp tissue, his nose red from sniffling and his shaggy dark hair mussed to perfection.

"Padfoot, I just lost all the respect I ever had for your masculinity." Nudging the boy beside him with a foot, James continued to rant. "Remus, back me up on this. Men do _not _enjoy musicals or sappy love flicks." When he did not get a reply, he moved closer to find Remus Lupin's light brown hair floating up with each breath as he slept peacefully, snuggled into a pillow.

"Moony? Hey, you're sleeping!" he shouted, outraged. "What the hell Jane! You whacked me on the head every time I drifted off into the wonderful land of Nod. Why does Moony get to sleep during your stupid 'lovey-dovey' movie?"

Jane answered, an amused expression on her delicate face, "Three reasons: I like Remus more than you. The full moon is in three days so he needs as much sleep as he can get. _And, _I thought I would do you a favor and teach you a bit about your obsession this summer, but your attitude has totally changed my mind."

"Lily?" James asked, dumbfounded.

"Yes, this is Lily's favorite movie. Too bad you have such a heinous attitude; you could have learned a lot." James ran a hand through his messy hair sadly and stuck out his bottom lip, his hazel eyes slowly misting over with false tears. Jane sighed, taking pity on the poor boy, even though she knew it was just an act. "You really have no clue, do you James? I really think you are hopeless," she frowned in mock disappointment.

"Yeah Prongs, you are hopeless! Get a new crush. Go with an _easy_-er girl." Sirius added in his two Knuts worth, while throwing popcorn at the back of James' head. James glared at him, shaking the kernels from his hair.

Climbing off the large, brightly patterned couch, Jane muttered, "Sirius, you are _such_ a womanizing jerk." She threw her pillow forcefully at him. He barely managed to catch it before it smacked him in the face. Sirius whispered a few unkind words about her under his breath as she started to leave the room, but Jane either didn't hear or didn't care.

"Hey Pete, you want another root beer?" Jane called over her shoulder, ignoring James and Sirius.

"Sure. Thanks, Jane," Peter answered surfacing from the candy wrappers and spilt popcorn that covered him and his faded recliner. Sirius couldn't prevent himself from watching her small hips sway from side to side as she walked from the room. He glanced nervously at James when he realized what he had done. Thankfully, James was too busy glaring at her back to notice. _When did Jane turn into a girl?_

"How come she is always nice to Moony and Wormtail? _We're _her _family_," Sirius whined, stretching out on the now abandoned couch. Cracking his neck, he continued, "and why does she always get the couch? Leaving me with the mini-couch. I can't even lie down comfortably. You could fit two of her on the love seat. It doesn't make sense."

Rolling his eyes, James stood and smirked at his best friend. "Padfoot, the reason we get tormented by Jane is because _we are_ family. And if you don't quit complaining about the love seat you can have the floor next time." He dropped to the love seat and sighed contentedly. This was the life. His friends, his family, and thinking about Lily. Of course, if Lily was there it would be better, but that wasn't going to happen any time soon, so thoughts of her were good enough.

O

A gentle summer breeze, sticky with humidity, blew across the large grassy field of the Potters' backyard. The large Quidditch goal posts swayed slightly, but it didn't affect the five teens sitting in the grass. They always swayed a little in the wind as Mr. Potter had decided that he was capable of installing them himself. While he did manage it, James was always fearful that they would crash to the ground during a storm, but it had not happened. Yet.

Jane lay back in the grass, her blonde hair spread out around her like a halo, ruffling up in the wind every now and then. The book lying on her baggy, shirt clad stomach was being read intently by Remus Lupin. He was lying on his stomach, his head propped up by his hands, his hair hanging in his eyes. Occasionally he would blow the strands away, but they would always find their way back. Peter was not so discreetly attempting to tie Remus' shoestrings together, but Remus pretended not to notice. Sirius and James were playing a complicated game of catch nearby with a large red Quaffle.

"James, what is it that you like about Lily?" Jane asked suddenly.

James dropped the ball in mid-throw and turned to face his cousin. "What?" The other boys on the field quickly turned away from their previous activities and focused on James.

"Lily, what attracts you to her? Other than the obvious."

"Why do I like Lily?" James frowned, rolling the question around in his mind. "She is beautiful, sweet, smart, and yeah…"

With a disappointed huff, Jane sat up. Remus' book tumbled to the ground and he frowned at her, but she didn't notice. "Do you even know _anything_ about Lily?"

"Of course! I know all kinds of things about Lily. I love her!" James scoffed. _As if I would be in love with someone I didn't know._

A wicked smirk crossed Jane's lips, but she quickly hid it beneath a curious façade. "Okay, then. What's her favorite color?"

In an all-knowing matter that reminded Sirius of Albus Dumbledore, James replied, "Red and gold, of course. She is a Gryffindor."

Jane rolled her eyes. "Lily's favorite color is–"

Remus cut her off, "Orange."

"Right, orange."

The puzzled look that distorted James' face was almost funny enough to laugh at. "But…she never wears orange. I don't think she even owns anything orange. How could that be her favorite color?"

"That doesn't mean it can't be her favorite color, Prongs. Look at Sirius, he never wears pink but it's his favorite color," Peter explained. "'Cept for the boxers with the red hearts on 'em," he whispered low to Remus, who chuckled.

Throwing the ball at Peter, Sirius shouted, "Hey! Don't bring my boxers into this!" The ball missed by several feet and Peter just shrugged, watching it bounce across the green grass.

"Look James, if you're ever going to stand a chance with Lily you're going to need to know something about her, spend time with her, and stop calling her _Evans_," Jane reasoned, her tone actually rather sincere.

His eyes shining eagerly and pitifully, James kneeled down in front of Jane, begging with his hands clasped together as if he was praying. "So, are you going to help me?"

"Prongs, man, the puppy eyes are so mine," Sirius joked, slapping James on the back of the head. "You can't just take them like that. Plus, you're not doing it right."

"Of course I'm going to help you," Jane said rolling her eyes, both her and James ignoring Sirius. "You don't really think I want to spend my last year at Hogwarts with _Derrick,_ do you?" She somehow managed to make the name sound like a curse word.

Grabbing her and swinging her around in a hug, James exclaimed, "Janie, you are _so _the best!"

O

A small, round, gold badge spun around on the tiled kitchen floor, winking in the sunlight. Jane, Sirius and James stood staring in awe at it; though in reality, it was nothing special, just a tiny bit of gold shined to perfection with the words _Head Boy_ inscribed on its surface.

Their amazement didn't stem from the badge itself, as they had been expecting a Marauder to receive it. Only the marauder they suspected the honor (or curse if you looked at it from Sirius' point of view) to go to wasn't James Potter. Remus. Moony. Mr. Lupin. The smart one. The suave one. The one who actually _attended_ class. The little shiny pin should have been in his school letter, not in James' letter. James didn't even know _how_ to behave, much less keep others in line.

"Does this mean what I think it means?" questioned Jane, looking down at the badge as it sparkled brightly up at her.

"…James is _Head Boy_," Sirius murmured quietly before bursting out it a fit of laughter. "I always _knew_ Dumbledore was mad!" Still laughing, he clapped James on the back. James looked positively ill.

Suddenly, Jane started dancing and not a normal dance, more of an awkward victory dance. Sirius and James stared at her completely confused as she waved her hands and jumped around as if she was crazy. Right before Sirius finally gave in and asked her if she was okay, she stopped and looked up at them. A smile spread from ear to ear as she whispered excitedly, "This is great! Guys, do you know what this means?"

Thinking long and hard, Sirius found what he thought was a brilliant answer. "Uh, we'll never have detention for hexing Slytherins or being out after curfew again?" His eyes sparkled with mischief at the thought.

"No!" Jane almost shouted, then, her eyes glinted impishly. "Well…yes…" Sobering, she turned to James, ignoring her wicked side for a moment. "But James, this could be really good for you and Lily! Think of all the time you will be spending together. You will be able to get to know her, and she will be forced to get to know the real you; not the egotistical, arrogant, prat front that you always put up just for her; because honestly, not even you can be that conceited all the time. No matter how hard you try!" She held his gaze and smiled softly at him.

Ignoring her insults, James whispered hopefully, "You're right." He might actually have a chance with Lily Evans. With Lily _Evans!_ "This is good. But Janie, we will need to step it up on these lessons because now Mum and Dad are going to throw a party. We won't have the time we thought we did." His voice was dazed and dreamy.

"Right, we'll start now. Last one in the pool has to tell Lily James made Head Boy!" Jane yelled, running toward the door.

School letters and Head Boy badge forgotten, the two boys ran after her.

O

Jane and Sirius invented a great new game to help teach James things about Lily. Jane would ask a question, and _when_, not _if_, James got the answer wrong Sirius dunked him under the water. Sirius had read somewhere (Yes, Sirius Black actually read sometimes) that during the Inquisition muggles used this technique to catch witches. They never caught any real witches and a lot of muggles died, but who cared? Dunking James was FUN!

"What is Lily's least favorite subject?" Jane asked, sitting on the edge of a step, the cool water reaching just above her waist, her baggy t-shirt clinging to her.

James looked half-drowned; his water spotted glasses sat lopsided on his face, his black hair stuck to his head, and he kept choking on previously swallowed water. He sighed with relief; finally, one he could get right. James answered proudly, not even attempting to get away this time; he knew the answer. "Lily likes every subject; she doesn't have a least favorite."

With a loud splash, James went under the water. Sirius held him there for a couple of seconds as he struggled frantically, before releasing him with a shrug. As James popped out of the water he sputtered, "What is it, then?" disbelievingly.

"Transfiguration," Jane replied simply. "Next question. What does Lily prefer to read, historical fiction or romance novels?"

"Er… the fiction one?" James said nervously.

Sirius looked at Jane to see if he should dunk him. "Dunk 'em, Black! That was a lucky guess, you didn't really know the answer," she explained to James' crestfallen face.

James was pushed underwater once again. Gasping for air when he was allowed to surface, he raged, "That's not fair! I got it right!" shaking his fists and trying to swim away from Sirius, who just grabbed the edge of his swim trunks and held him in place.

Jane looked at him, smirking wickedly. "James, do you really think it's fair that we dunk you underwater when you get a question wrong? I mean really, what kind of idiot would agree to allow his friend to repeatedly try to drown him?"

Stammering, "Uh...um…er…a desperate one?" James attempted to swim away from Sirius, again.

"That is right my friend!" Sirius chuckled, pushing James underwater once more, just for the hell of it. "A desperate idiot, that's you." Backstroking away and climbing out of the pool, he yelled, "Come on, let's get out of here; we have been at this for hours. I'm hungry!" making his way toward the door.

"You're _always _hungry, Sirius," James moaned, trying to climb out of the pool himself, but failing miserably.

* * *

Author's Note: If you found any mistakes, have any questions, enjoyed the chapter, or disliked the chapter let me know in a review or PM. All feedback is not only welcomed but embraced. 


	2. Chapter 2

Funnyface

Chapter Two

_Thank the Gods for Moony_

"You sure she's going to be here, Jay-Bird?" James Potter asked nervously, his hand running through his already messy black hair. He had dressed specially for this occasion; he wanted Lily to be impressed. He wore a crisp white shirt – well, it had been crisp and white when they left. Now, it was wrinkled and had ketchup stains down the front of it – and clean khaki pants. Well, they weren't necessarily clean anymore, either. Sirius had been walking backward and run into James, causing him to fall down in a spot of grass, so his clean pants now had grass stains on the knees. Nevertheless, he had made an effort and when they left the Potter place, he looked more presentable than the rest of the gang.

"Yes, James. For the fifty-third time, I am _sure_ she will be here. I told Lily I need new robes and wanted her opinion." Jane answered as patiently as she could, her hands twitching to wring his neck. Honestly, did he not realize that she had turned her wardrobe over to Lily Evans? She'd be stuck prancing around in uncomfortable clothes all year.

James' hands wrung in anxiety as he posed another question. "And she knows the guys and I will be here?"

"Yes! I said that I was stuck with you lot, 'cause your mom doesn't trust you and Sirius on your own. That's why we are shopping for our supplies as well. James, honestly, if you ask me one more time... you know the new Bat-Bogey hex Lily came up with last year?" James gulped and nodded. "The curse I use on you will be much, _much _worse."

Before James had any time to think about what could be worse than a Bat-Bogey, the object of his worry stepped out of the magical entrance to Diagon Alley. Lily Evans was quite a stunning girl, with long, thick, red hair that cascaded down her shoulders, a thin build, and a charming smile. However, that was nothing compared to her eyes. They were an emerald green that shone so bright they could make the stars jealous. Well, at least James imagined the stars to be jealous.

"Jay-Jay! It's so good to see you!" Lily exclaimed as she ran to wrap Jane in a hug. "I see you haven't changed a bit."

Jane cringed inwardly. She loved Lily, she did. Honestly, she was the only true female friend Jane had, but that did not mean she missed the 'poor tom-boy' ache in Lily's tone.

Letting Jane out of her hug, Lily nodded a hello to the boys. "So, have you guys been to any shops yet?" she asked cheerfully.

"Nope, not yet. We've been waiting on you, Evans," Sirius answered sharply, already annoyed with the effect she had on Jane and James. Only a girl could make Jane cringe like that, and only Lily Evans could turn James into a pile of mush.

"Well, how nice of you, Black," Lily bit out at Sirius.

"Hey, now play nice, you two!" Jane refereed, shooting a quick glare at Sirius, who promptly ignored her. Lily smiled unaffectedly, and started toward the bookstore. _Great__ just my luck! I get to play babysitter and referee, _Jane thought in annoyance.

"Books first, then?" Remus asked. _Thank the gods for Moony._

Remus Lupin smiled over at Jane as the group started toward Flourish and Blotts. "Time to let the games begin, eh, Janie?" he whispered, though no one but Jane was listening. Sirius and Lily were too busy glaring fiercely at each other. James had barely noticed the group was moving and continued his nervous fidgeting with the edge of his shirt, crumpling it beyond repair. Dear, little Peter looked around the small town peacefully, completely ignoring the interactions of the others.

"Was this a bad idea, Remus? I mean, Sirius is already ruining it for James, he doesn't stand a chance." Jane asked, looking up at the meek young man, hopelessness scrunching her eyebrows together.

With a quick smile, Remus shook his head and informed her of his game plan. "Jaybird, you take care of Sirius. Just give him a good telling off in one of the deserted sections of the bookstore. I will take care of Lily and James. Pete can take care of himself, as always." Speeding up to open the door for the group, he gave a mock bow as Lily, Jane, Sirius and Peter entered, winking at Jane as she gave him an odd look.

James, who was oblivious to all around him, was pulled abruptly to a halt. "Hey!" he shouted, looking back to find Remus holding on to his shirttail. "Shut up, James. I'm going to help you out of this mess you've already gotten yourself into with Lily."

"But I haven't even said anything yet!" James said in confusion, his hands still active in their attempt to destroy the bottom of his shirt.

Remus rolled his eyes, his sandy blond hair falling into his eyes as he shook his head in astonishment and pity. "Exactly. You didn't even say hello. Come on, James, where is that 'Potter Charm' you are always going on about? Pull yourself together, and stop acting like a nervous ten-year-old who's never spoken to a girl."

At that, James stood up a little straighter and vainly tried to smooth down his shirt and hair. "I am not acting like a ten-year-old!" he whined, stomping his foot, giving a smashing impression of a pouting, little kid.

Remus shook his head again. Pulling out his wand, he waved it across James' chest, causing all the wrinkles to smooth out and the ketchup stains to vanish. With another little wave at the knees of James' trousers, the grass stains faded, but did not disappear completely. "That's better. You will have to wait for a house elf to get the rest of the grass stain out though," he told his hopeless friend. "Now, be nice and try to be friendly with Lily. _Not flirty,_ though. Just don't be an ass." He sighed, patting James on the back and sending him through the door, feeling a lot like a mother.

When Jane noticed that Remus had pulled James aside as they entered the store, she quickly devised a plan to ditch Lily for a minute so she could have a 'heart-to-heart' with Sirius Black. So far, all attempts at carrying out the plan had failed.

Lily was chattering ceaselessly in Jane's ear about Derrick and all the wonderful things he had done over the summer. Jane loved Lily, she really did. Derrick, however, Jane despised. He was a no-good charmer, who was using Lily and as soon as he got what he wanted, he was going to leave her broken-hearted for the next thing that walked by in a skirt. Therefore, Jane was currently nodding and awwing in all the right places, while thinking of a new way to rid herself of her friend for a few moments.

As Remus and James rejoined the group, he saw the desperate look on Jane's face and nodded to her. "Hey Lily, James and I were just discussing the best charm to use to remove grass stains. Which would you suggest? After all you are the best charms student in our year." He smiled and pulled James into conversation with Lily, though James didn't say much. He spent most of his time trying to swallow the large lump that seemed to have lodged itself in his throat.

"Oh, well, I always use a…" Remus winked at Jane as she left, dragging Sirius by the collar behind a bookshelf.

"Sirius Black, you wanker. How is James going to stand a chance with you constantly fighting with Lily? Do you _know_ what I am about to go through for that prat? You had better not mess this up. _Girl clothes_,Sirius, _girl clothes._" Jane whispered harshly once she had found a deserted aisle. Sirius towered over the girl, his black hair falling into his eyes.

He was trying to look afraid or at least confused, but was having a hard time of it._ This must be what it's like when you outgrow your Mum and she tries to ground you._ Jane continued to lecture and rage at Sirius, though he was not hearing a word of it. His thoughts swirled around in his head, distracting him from her entire speech. _She is so tiny. I wonder why I never noticed before. She's kind of cute when she is mad. Those curls escaping from that knot at the back of her head are distracting. They keep wiggling like little…wiggling things. _

_Oh, _he mentally clapped his hands and jumped up and down,_ she has an eyelash on her cheek!_

As Sirius' hand neared her cheek Jane's confused voice reached his ears. "Black, what the Hades are you doing? Are you even listening to me?" She slapped his hand away from her face, but he refused to retreat. "Sirius! Get your bloody hand away from me!"

"Relax, Jane, you have an eyelash," Sirius replied calmly, picking off the eyelash and showing it to her. "See?" he said, sounding pleased with himself, holding out his finger to show her the eyelash. Jane whacked him on the side of the head.

"You weren't listening to a thing I said, were you?" It was not a question really; she knew he had not been paying attention.

"Nope," he answered honestly and blew the eyelash off his fingertip. "Do you think my wish will come true? Considering it was your eyelash."

"Damn it, Sirius." Jane sighed and ran her hand through her hair, pulling even more curls out of her knot. "Just don't talk to Lily, unless it is absolutely necessary, and then be nice." As she stared up at him, she realized he was not capable of doing that on his own. "Look, stay close to Remus or me and we will let you know if you are out of line. Okay?" Jane pleaded with him, suddenly appearing to be very tired.

"Alright-y then," Sirius perkily replied as he draped an arm around her shoulders and led her out of the Divination section, flicking his wand and causing several copies of Predicting the Unpredictable: Insulate Yourself Against Shocks to flop off the self. Jane slumped against him. _This is going to be such a long day._

O

Their books bought, shrunk and stuffed in their pockets or bags, the sextet headed out to Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions for some new school robes. Jane had put up a valiant effort of pretending to change her mind about new robes, but Lily would not have it.

"Jane they are covered in holes, faded, and one set even has a hole in the bum and everyone can see your knickers because you won't patch them," Lily informed Jane as they entered the shop.

"There comfy, Lils." Jane shrugged, completely uninterested in shopping for new robes.

Sirius pointed to his chest and smiled charmingly, announcing loudly, "I, personally, love the ones with the hole in the bum. How else would I know what color Jaybird's panties are?" His other arm was still around Jane's shoulders.

Lily had pulled Jane aside, confused when this she first saw this. Jane, laughing, explained that she had told Sirius to behave and the only way he could manage it was stay close to her or Remus. At that point, she pointed to Remus, who was then attempting to get Sirius to let go of his hand, bemusedly.

"Sirius commenting on my panties is considered to be misbehaving," Jane said, pointing her wand awkwardly over her head at him.

Sirius resisted the urge to hold his hands up in surrender and involuntarily shied away from Jane's wand. "Just trying to add to the conversation, Jay-Jay, no harm meant."

"Well, next time keep your little additions to yourself." Jane rolled her eyes and stuffed her wand back into her pocket.

"Aye aye, captain!" Sirius gave a mock salute.

The young, toffee-haired Madam Malkin stepped out from behind a stack of boxes at the tiny jingle of the bell on the door as it fell shut. "Ah, good day, dearies, here for new school robes, I assume."

"That, we are." Lily smiled shoving Jane forward. "Janie, why don't you go first?"

Jane glared back at Lily, but bit down a growl. Forcing a smile on her face, Jane stepped up and allowed the Madam to take her measurements. Thirty seconds later, both the Madam and Lily whisked her away to a dressing room.

The four boys flopped to the floor, deciding it was going to take a while. James and Sirius began playing some strange game the two of them had invented years ago. Remus pulled out a book a leaned against the wall sighing contentedly as he slipped into the world painted by the words. Peter snacked on one of the many treats stuffed into his pockets.

"No! I look like a freaking whore!" Jane's screeching voice caused all four boys' heads to snap to attention.

Sirius chuckled and shook his head. Lily and Madam Malkin were in for it now.

"Come on, Jane. Just ask Remus, he'll give you an honest opinion." Lily's calming voice drifted over the door of the changing rooms.

"No!"

"Jane," Lily begged.

"I look like a whore! I don't want any one to see me in this."

The boys could hear Lily huff and almost picture her face screwing up in stubborn determination. "Remus! Can you come here for a second?"

Moony shot the others a desperate look. "Please tell her I'm not here."

Sirius grinned mischievously. Imitating Remus' voice, he shouted, "On my way, Lily, love!"

"Thank you," Lily called back, evidently not catching the oddity of being referred to as 'love,' by Remus Lupin.

"Remus John Lupin, if you take one step toward this door I swear on my life I will kill you," Jane yelled.

Remus' eyes went wide and he shoved his book in his pocket. "Call me when it's my turn," he whispered and rushed outside.

After Remus' departure, it took a good hour for Lily to convince Jane to buy the set of robes. Honestly, though, Jane felt she had escaped mildly unharmed, one pair of whore robes, and the remainder of her clothes were basically left alone. Sure, they fitted a bit better, but they were her usual non-descript black robes.

New robes bundled up into their bags, the group set off toward the apothecary to refill their potion supplies for the upcoming school year.

"Ah look, Snape, it's Potty and his little gang of misfits," a blond man sneered, standing just inside the shop doors. His hook-nosed companion raised his head and nodded, uninterested.

"Malfoy! How great to see you again. It has been absolutely forever. How is Cissy?" Jane exclaimed, grabbing Malfoy in a hug. It was hard to say who was more revolted, Malfoy or Sirius; they both looked as if someone had placed a bowl of rotten fish under their noses. Malfoy shoved Jane off him. "Get off me, you blood-traitor whore!"

James, Remus and Peter, who had been snickering under their breath at Jane's antics, swiftly pulled out their wands as Jane stumbled back into Sirius' chest. Placing his hands on Jane's shoulders, Sirius tried to steady her.

Sensing disaster, Jane spoke before anyone else had a chance, attempting to keep everyone's attention on Malfoy. Lily would murder the lot of them if the boys' started in on Snape. Jane didn't understand why, though, Snape more than deserved everything he got, Lily was just stuck in memories of the past.

"Is that anyway to treat your bestest friend?" Jane asked. Then, she paused and then smiled knowingly. "Oh, I get it! You're still mad about last Christmas." Pinching his cheek like a grandmother would her small grandchild, she grinned widely. "Well, my friend, when you are so intoxicated that you're singing old Elvis songs and dancing naked it is only right that someone takes pictures."

Malfoy opened his mouth to speak but Lily interrupted, hoping to halt the fight that was sure to come. "Well, Malfoy, it is nice seeing you again, but we do have some shopping to do. Maybe we could have tea sometime?" at that, she herded the rest of the gang away, glancing briefly over her shoulder at Snape. He lifted his chin, his ebony eyes glittering angrily at her. She gave a weak smile before ignoring him completely.

Malfoy turned on his heel and left the shop, his robes swirling about his legs. Snape was left alone – easy prey in the minds of James, Peter, and Sirius. As Sirius started to mention something to James about Snape, Jane shot Remus a look and tried to draw Sirius' attention.

Not having any clue what to say, Jane lightly placed her hand on Sirius' arm. "Uh, thanks for," she gulped, "catching me." _Oh Hades, what was that? 'Thanks for catching me?' Walker__ you need to learn to think quicker._

Sirius stared at her in confusion. "Er…No problem, Jaybird." Although Jane's approach was not exactly what she would have liked, it seemed to have worked, as Sirius was too busy staring confusedly at her to pay much attention to Severus Snape.

Remus had seen the look Jane shot him, but it was not really needed. Honestly, did she really think he was new to this? "James, keep your wand in your pocket, this is your chance to act mature in front of Lily. Behave," Remus whispered quickly to James. James nodded, stowing his wand back into his pocket.

With that done, the time went quickly, but tensely, until Snape left the store. On his way out however, he tripped, falling flat on his face. He shot the group a dirty look as he got up and continued out the store.

"James, how dare you!" Lily screeched. "That was so… so you! It was a low, dirty underhanded thing to do. Why can't you grow up?"

James looked completely lost. He had not jinxed Snape. He was being on his best behavior, _for her_. It wasn't his fault the big-nosed idiot had tripped. It was not his fault that she still cared for the prat. "I didn't trip him. Maybe he just fell on his own," James offered hopefully.

"Yeah, like _that _happened! I cannot believe you. You won't even admit to your wrongdoing." Lily glared, her red hair crackling in anger.

He whispered low, already beginning to lose his temper. "I _didn't _do it." Why did she always do that to him?

As Lily and James argued about whether or not James tripped Snape, Jane and Remus looked up at Sirius, who shook his head and looked to Peter. When realization dawned, both Jane and Remus thought, _Damn it. We forgot Peter!_

"Did."

"Didn't."

"DID!"

Peter was laughing, his eyes bouncing back and forth between Lily and James, as if he were watching a ping-pong match. A small hand rudely interrupted him as it whacked him on the back on the head. He turned and looked at Jane, who had her arms crossed, tapping her foot. "Okay, _okay_!" he said, his hands held up in surrender. Walking in between the two arguing teens, his hands up, he said simply, "I did it," and continued walking to the counter to pay for his supplies.

Lily looked down, ashamed; James looked defiant. Lily turned away and moved to follow Peter to pay for her things. "What, Peter doesn't get a lecture on how awful it is to jinx innocent – well, not innocent, more like evil, dirty and rotten – people?" James' voice sounded at her back.

Lily abruptly stopped and opened her mouth to say something, then closed it. She chewed on her cheek before speaking. "No, because Peter wouldn't have done it if he wasn't trying to show off for you. Therefore, it is still your fault."

He stepped up into Lily's personal space, towering over her, but she held her ground, her green eyes glaring unblinkingly at him. James growled, "You make Peter sound like he has no mind of his own. Do not _insult _my friends! You know, you accuse me of being arrogant, but look at yourself, Evans, you judge people before you even know them."

James then took his supplies and shoved them into Sirius' basket, muttering, "I need some air, pay for this stuff for me, huh?" and he stormed out of the store.

As the five remaining members of the group watched James walk away, Peter whispered, "Sorry."

Jane patted him on the back. "Not your fault, mate. It was bound to happen. When have James and Lily spent more than two hours together without fighting? Come on, today must be a record!" Peter just smiled weakly.

The rest of the shopping day was spent with a huffy James and Lily. The others tried to ignore them and continue having a good time, although the peaceful feel of the excursion of earlier that day never returned.

* * *

Author's Note: If you found any mistakes, have any questions, enjoyed the chapter, or disliked the chapter let me know in a review or PM. All feedback is not only welcomed but embraced. 


	3. Chapter 3

Funnyface

Chapter Three

_My Life is Over_

When James, Sirius, and Jane arrived at home, James stormed to his room and had yet to come out. Jane and Sirius decided to let him be and slowly made their way up to their rooms to unpack all of their newly purchased school supplies (and trouble-making artifacts in Sirius' case).

After Sirius had finished, he walked into Jane's room just in time to see her flop back on her bed, sighing loudly. "Ugh! My life is over."

"Might I ask why?" Sirius asked laughingly, leaning against the doorframe, his hair gracefully falling into his eyes.

Jane sat up, gazing at him, her head tilted to the left slightly. "Any chance I had at getting rid of _Derrick_ was murdered today," she huffed, the perfect image of a petulant child.

"It's not that bad," Sirius cooed jokingly, striding into the room and dropping onto the bed beside her.

Flopping onto her bed once more, Jane scoffed. "Yes it is! For the next six months, I am going to be stuck with _Derrick_."

Climbing over her and pinning her arms above her head, Sirius flashed a charming grin. "All right, so _Derrick_," he mimicked her tone,"sucks, but you'll always have the guys and _me_." He punctuated the sentence by placing a quick peck on her pouting lips. Smiling faintly, Jane shook her head and rolled her eyes.

"What?" he asked in mock shock. "No ranting? No threats of a bloody murder?" Making sure both of her hands were firmly pinned in one of his, he pretended to check her for a fever. "Jane, I just kissed you," he explained slowly, tilting his head to the side when she remained silent. "What? You have nothing to say?" Fixing her with a shrewd look, he cockily raised an eyebrow. "Oh! You enjoyed it!" he exclaimed grinningly, and a tiny blush rose up on her cheeks. "Janie," he murmured into her ear, "if you wanna shag, all you have to say is–"

"Sirius, _love_," Jane purred, cutting him off, "if you knew how very open your _favorite_ piece of equipment is to having a rather unpleasant encounter with my knee, you'd stop talking right now."

Sirius' grey eyes widened in shock and he scurried off of her, his hand hovering protectively over his 'equipment.' "Jay! You wouldn't!" he shouted and Jane burst into a fit of chuckles. "You're _evil_," he hissed, crossing his arms in a huff.

"I'm sorry," she replied, her voice still full of chuckles. "You just… it was just too easy."

Prodding her with a finger and making her jump, Sirius grumbled, "You set me up. You tease."

With a tiny bubble of laughter, Jane nudged him with her shoulder, gazing up at him almost shyly. "I am not a tease," she told him lightly and Sirius smiled. "I only thought, that's what I'd do to anyone else had they pulled something like that, but you're special, so I gave you a free warning. Don't expect me to be so kind next time." Tucking a fallen curl behind her ear, Sirius released a bark of laughter, his mind furiously searching for the moment Jane became so damn attractive.

"Sorry to tell you, Jaybird," Sirius said playfully, "you are being a pretty damn good tease, right now. In fact, you've been a damn good tease all day."

"Oh, shove off," Jane snorted, shoving him a bit, rolling her eyes and sliding off the bed.

Sirius watched her with mild intrigue as she shuffled around in her wardrobe for pajamas. As she started for the bathroom he stood up and leaned against the wall near its door. Jane quirked her eyebrow as she passed him, entering the room and clicking the door closed. "Ignoring the fact that Hollister is a complete wanker, what exactly is your problem with him?" Sirius asked the whitewash door. "You've never really been against Lily's relationships before. Hell, Birdie, you tolerated Snape."

The gargled response he received, made Sirius roll his eyes. She was, obviously, brushing her teeth. "Spit, Jane," he muttered.

"I said: Lily has never been at risk of getting her heart broken before Hollister. Sure, Snape's wretched, but I really never thought he'd–" she stepped out of the bathroom and gave a long sigh. "I never thought Snape would hurt her, I really thought, deep down, he cared."

"That bastard isn't capable of caring, Janie," Sirius answered briskly. As she gave him a look of disappointment, he groaned. "Okay, I'm sorry. No Snape bashing." He gave her a pleading look, not wanting to be kicked out and left alone. "Back to Hollister."

"He is going to hurt her," Jane answered simply, forgiving him easily. Walking over to her bed, she curled up, leaning against the headboard, a pillow clutched to her chest.

Sirius shook his head in mild amusement, dropping down beside her. "Yeah, we've covered that."

With a long, heavy sigh, Jane picked at the feathers escaping the small hole in her pillow. "He's like you, Padfoot. It's just," she paused, "he pretends not to be. As soon as he gets he wants he's going to leave her without a second thought."

"Hey! I'm not like that," Sirius harrumphed. "I don't string girls along, and I sure as hell don't do anything they aren't willing to."

"I know that, Sirius," Jane said, slightly exasperated. "I don't care what you do with your little flings. As far as I am concerned if they get their heartbroken, it's their own fault. You _are_ rather blunt."

"Well, I don't want some simpering little girl–"

"I _know_," this time she stressed the 'know.' "He is doing exactly what Lily accuses James of, and she is so annoyingly oblivious to it."

Sirius shrugged, indifferently. "Well, then, it's her own damn fault for being blind. Prongs loves her."

Dropping her head onto Sirius' shoulder, and biting her lip, Jane nodded thoughtfully. "James doesn't even know her."

Slowly exhaling, Sirius draped an arm around Jane, and absently toyed with her hair. "Then it's up to you to fix that, isn't it?"

"Yeah," Jane chuckled. "You will help, right?"

"Mmhmm," Sirius answered. "Might as well be in charge of ridding little Lilykins of Hollister as well."

Nodding slightly, Jane whispered, "Just don't break her heart, all right?"

"Never," Sirius said. "Despite the fact the Evans is a bit moody, and she has a deplorable taste in friends, I rather like her."

"Hey!" Jane shouted, whacking Sirius with her pillow.

O

James Potter was…sad…angry…oh, he didn't know, but what ever it was, he did not like it.

He was currently lying on the flat of his back in the floor of his room, throwing a Quaffle repeatedly at the wall. _My life is over! _Thump._ What the hell, did I do this time?_ Thump, thump._ Well, I yelled. Well, not yelled, but I did raise my voice. _Thump. _But, she insulted Peter, and blamed me for something that I didn't do. I would have liked to jinx Snape, but I didn't because she was there and I still got blamed. _Thump. _I tried not to act like jerk. I am not usually a jerk; she just brings it out in me. _Thump. _I am so glad Jane agreed to tell her I'm Head Boy. _Catching the ball, he sat up, placed it on the floor in front of him and rolled it from side to side._ What was with Sirius hanging all over Jane today…that was well, weird._

Shaking his head to clear out anything thoughts of _that_, he went back to tossing the ball against the wall and thinking about Lily._ I didn't mean to hurt her feelings. Well, I did, but now I feel bad about it. _Thump._ I should apologize. Maybe, I will write a letter. Yeah…a letter. _Letting the ball fall to the floor, he stood up and went to his desk. Shoving the mess that covered the oak surface to into the floor, he sat down and quickly jotted down an apology.

_**Dear Lily,**_

_**I would like to apologize for my horrid behavior this afternoon. I know that you didn't mean to insult Peter, and I shouldn't have stormed out, or responded as I did. If I had dropped the topic like you in the beginning, we would not have fought. I hope you can forgive me, though I probably don't deserve it. I look forward to seeing you on the train soon. **_

_**With love,**_

_**James**_

_Yes, this was such a good idea. Now for a read through. 'Dear Lily…horrid…Peter… did… fought… mmhmm… seeing you… Love…wait, wait, not love. _James quickly marked out love. The letter now read _**'With,**_ a large ink blot,_** stuff, James'**_. Smiling at his handy work, he made his way out of his room to find Peacock, his owl.

O

Lily Evans sighed heavily, and peered out her window into the approaching darkness. Gently kissing the warm pane of glass with her finger tips as she watched a dark clothed boy shuffle down the empty street, she murmured, "I miss you, you know?"

Merlin, she felt like an ass today. James was right, she did judge people, and she did insult Peter. Peter didn't deserve that. Pete was such a sweet kid. Her life was over! She should have apologized to Peter. She should have made up with James after her unnecessary outburst. She should have told Jane it was better to deal with a misbehaving Black than to allow him to hang all over her all day. She should have hugged Remus. She always hugged Remus, but today she didn't, and she had no idea why. And, she didn't even want to think about the little interlude with Snape.

She tried to rid her mind of her thoughts by throwing things in her trunk, tossing everything within reach into the thing, quite a few things too forcefully. When the trunk began to overflow she stopped, waved her wand and everything jumped up to organized itself, the items that needed to be shrunk shrinking; the things that needed to be folded folding and the broken objects repairing themselves. As she watched the wonders of magic at work, she smiled.

A tapping sound at the window turned her smile into a confused frown. _Jay-Jay always sends Toby, he knows the bathroom window is always open_. The owl at the window wasn't Toby, however. It was James Potter's owl. Lily sighed and let the bird in. _Oh, great, now what do you want, Potter? To tell me that my hair is too long?_

After reading the letter, Lily felt even worse. He even got to be the bigger man by sending an apology first. Life so wasn't fair. She looked closer at the inkblot, trying to make out what it said. _Love_. It was habit, had to be, but at least he had the sense to change it, though 'stuff' was not exactly a proper ending of a letter but it was better than _love_ from James Potter. _He called me Lily…_

O

Remus Lupin sat staring out his bedroom window into the forest below, despising Derrick Hollister.Lily had changed so much because of him. _Did she think I didn't notice that she didn't hug me? _Derrick was the reason she didn't, he knew that. Of course, he knew that. Derrick was the reason Remus now patrolled the halls with Snape. Derrick was the reason Jane now tutored Peter (Not that she was really all that helpful, but they did manage to complete everything. Even if a lot of the answers were wrong.), when Lily had done it for years. Derrick was the reason James did not stand a chance. Derrick was the reason…for everything.

Lily, dare he say the word, loved – maybe liked was better – Derrick. She was going to get hurt. Remus knew it, Jane knew it, and Sirius probably knew now, too. Jane would need to vent and Sirius was the only option.

Sighing heavily, he climbed off his bed. There was nothing to do now but pack. Worrying would get him nowhere.

O

Peter Pettigrew was, for lack of a better word, crushed. Okay, so it was more like he was crush_ing_, on his best friend's cousin. _Oh, Hades. I have a crush on Jane!_ What was he to do? It was not as if he could ask her out, James would kill him. No one touched Jane, and she was supposed to be a little sister to him. Like she was with all the other guys. Well, maybe not Sirius. Today he had been, well, treating her as if she was one of his 'girl-friend-to-bes' as Sirius referred to them. So now, even if he did rake up the nerves to do something about this crush, he would lose anyway. Sirius Black always got the girl. This so sucked.

O

Sirius Black lay beside Jane as she drifted of to sleep. Merlin, he was confused. Three times today, he had wanted to kiss her. Three times! Not to mention the one time he actually _gave in_, and did it. Though, that could hardly be considered a kiss._ Oh, hell!_ What was he to do about this? She was practically family. Okay, she was James' family, and Sirius considered James family, so she just got added in. Climbing off her bed, and making his way to his own room, he tried to work it out his mind. _Jane doesn't date, so there is no sense in worrying about this. No sense at all. But she's so fun, she gets everything I do. Not like the other girls I have dated, she understands the pranks, the brotherhood of the Marauders. She is even helping with the James and Lily front. _Standing in front of his door, he pounded his head against it for a moment. "Hey, Sirius? You okay?" James asked, sticking his head out of the door, peering down the hall.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," Sirius, muttered twisting his doorknob, and entering his room, leaving James' head poking out into the hall. Closing the door, Sirius leaned up against it. _Oh, James is going to kill me!_

O

It was around midnight when Sirius and James both stumbled from their rooms at the sound of their alarms going haywire. "Hey, guys," a smiling blond man whispered, sitting on the floor in a bundle of ropes. "What on earth is all this about?" he asked, as the two stepped out into the hall.

James shrugged, flicking his wand and the ropes disappeared. "Sorry, Uncle Ted. We're just making sure Janie doesn't sneak out. We wouldn't want her to get hurt or anything." He gestured to Sirius and himself.

"Uh huh." Ted nodded. "I am sure it has nothing to do with the fact that you need some kind of warning, so your parents don't catch you up to something along the lines of troublemaking." When James shook his head fiercely and shouted "no!" Ted broke out into quiet chuckles. "James, Anna can lie better than you and she can't lie worth a damn."

"I cannot be nearly as bad as _Jane_." James glared.

"Sorry, mate, but you are," Sirius informed him, offering Ted a hand up.

"I am not." James stomped his foot like a young child.

Ted yawned widely. "As much as I want to continue this discussion, it's late and I miss my girl, so I'll see you boys next week for this…Head Boy celebration thing." He carefully opened the door to Jane's room and stepped inside.

"Daddy!" James and Sirius exchanged pleased smiles and sighs of relief at Jane's joyful shout. It had been way too long since she had seen him.

When Ted emerged from her room, Jane was bundled up in his arms, already back into the wonderful land of sleep. "Thanks for keeping an eye on her, guys." They both gave embarrassed grins before waving goodbye and stumbling back to bed.

* * *

Author's Note: If you found any mistakes, have any questions, enjoyed the chapter, or disliked the chapter let me know in a review or PM. All feedback is not only welcomed but embraced. 


	4. Chapter 4

Funnyface

Chapter Four

_Not Again_

James Potter awoke abruptly. Sitting up in his bed, he strained his ears for what woke him. All he heard was the quiet patter of rain. Damn it, Lily had been in that dream. Fumbling around for his wand and glasses, he turned on his lamp. His glasses sat a little crookedly on his nose as he climbed out of bed. What had awoken him?

"_It isn't fair!_" a loud scream echoed off his walls and he sighed heavily. Not again, it hadn't even been a week. Striding to his closet, he searched for a t-shirt. Before he had even managed to pull it on, Sirius Black walked through his bedroom door.

"I suppose they're leaving again." He gave James a half-hearted little smile. "I don't understand why she always throws such a fit."

James snorted, tugging his shirt over his head. "Yes you do. Stop pretending like you don't give a damn." Sirius ran a hand through his sleep mussed, dark hair, shrugging. Of course he cared, it was just easier to pretend he didn't. "You ready, then?" James asked, straightening his glasses.

Nodding, Sirius tried to shove his hands in his pockets, only to find that his boxers lacked those wonderful devices. Damn, what was he going to do with his hands now? "Yeah, we best get down there before she decides to just take off."

The enraged screams increased tenfold as the boys traveled down the many stairs to the entrance hall. Reaching the landing above the entrance hall, Sirius stopped and placed a hand on James shoulder. James nervously chewed on his bottom lip. "What?"

"Wait a moment." Sirius shushed him. "Let's just watch for a bit, I don't want to end up without eyebrows again." James bit down a chuckle. Merlin forbid something happen to Sirius' perfect eyebrows. They both leaned against the rail, gazing down at the scene below.

A tiny blonde girl about their age was standing there, arms crossed, tears streaming down her face, glaring angrily at a rather short, blond man and a dark haired woman. James' parents were off to the left, Mr. Potter's arms wrapped carefully around Mrs. Potter's shoulders. "You just got back three days ago! Someone else can go! It's not fair. It's _always_ you. This is my last summer before I graduate, I want to spend time with my father, not Sirius and James!"

"Anna, this is how it works. We've gone over it a thousand times. I am going to do what it takes to keep my family safe and if that means us spending time apart then that is what is going to happen," Ted said softly.

"Keep our family safe? You're not keeping the family safe. You're out there trying to get yourself killed and leaving me alone!" Jane yelled.

Fiercely running his hand through his short blond hair, he muttered, "Anna, what do you want me to do?"

"I want you to stay home! I want you to stop it with this fucking Order shit, Dad. That's what I want!"

"Anna, I can't. I will not stand by and watch someone destroy my home. I won't do it. You have to understand that."

"Why?" she screeched, throwing her arms above her head.

James nudged Sirius. "That's our cue, she's going to fly." Sirius sucked in a large breath before following James down the stairs, releasing it slowly. Before they even took two steps, Jane had run out the front door. "Shit," James cursed.

"Damn it! Anna! Don't run!" her father ran after her, but by the time he made it outside she was gone.

"Ted," the dark haired woman whispered, and he slowly turned around to face her. "Just let her go, she'll be back."

"We don't have the time to wait for her to come back. We were already supposed to be there ten minutes ago."

She crossed her arms and flicked her hazel eyes to his blue ones. "If you even think about leaving before she gets back, I swear, I-"

"Relax, Sarah, we aren't going to leave. Honestly," he sighed, before glancing up at Sirius and James trotting down the stairs. "Hey, guys. Sorry to wake you up."

"No worries, Uncle T," James chirped. "Didn't you just get back though?"

"James, he doesn't need a guilt trip from you," Mr. Potter chided him lightly, pulling away from his wife and ruffling his son's hair. "Come on; let's have some tea while we wait." James was the spitting image of his father, if you overlooked the wrinkles and salt and pepper hair.

Sirius chuckled, "You've been such a little house wife since you retired, Mr. Potter."

"Sirius, if I have to tell you to call me Matt one more time I am going to throw you out on your ass." He gave Sirius a mock glare before leading the group to the kitchen.

"Right-o, Matt." Sirius grinned.

The group gathered in the kitchen, Mr. Potter fiddling around with the teapot trying to figure out how to make it work. Mrs. Potter stood behind him making suggestions here and there, earning her several annoyed glares. Ted dropped tiredly into a chair, Sarah perching on the table in front of him. James stood in the corner, trying to pretend he wasn't pissed. They had been doing this for the past three years. It wasn't hard to understand why Jane was pissed. She had seen her parents twice in the past four months.

Sirius gracefully fell into a chair beside Ted, dropping his head into Sarah's lap. "Auntie Sarah, tell me a story," he whined, taking her hand and placing it in his hair.

She chuckled, "Sirius, you are way too old for this," stroking his hair. He shook his head and sniffled. Rolling her eyes, she sighed. "Okay, so, once upon a time in a far away land-"

"I've heard that one," he groaned, sitting up.

Placing her hands on her hips, she feigned annoyance. "Well, you don't get to pick the story."

"But–" at that moment the back door opened, revealing a drenched, little blonde. "Jane, I like the new look…very grunge."

Her blue eyes flicked to him before resting steadily on the man beside him. "I'm sorry," she whispered, wrapping her arms around herself. Sirius looked down and studied the tile. Merlin, he hated it when she cried.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Ted stood up. "Come on, Anna love, let's talk outside." He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and led her outside, kissing the top of her head.

Sarah hopped off the tabletop as the door clicked closed. "Well, I'll be needed in a moment." She smiled slightly and made her way toward the door.

As it clicked closed, again, James pushed himself off the wall. "Dad, what's going on?"

"That's none of your business, James," Mr. Potter answered stiffly.

"It is, too!" he yelled. Sirius glanced nervously at Mrs. Potter and she gave him a small smile. This was probably the third time this conversation occurred during their first few weeks home for the summer. What was the Order? What were they doing? Why couldn't they join?

"James," Mr. Potter sighed. "You are too young. When you graduate, we will talk about it. Until then, drop it. Ted is doing his job and my bloody little sister is going to follow him." His deep hazel eyes flashed angrily at that statement. "There is nothing I can do to stop them and even if there was, I wouldn't. If it weren't for the fact that you, Sirius, and Jane need a home to come to, your mother and I would be right there beside him. And no, you cannot know any more about it until you are out of school." He ran a hand through his graying hair. "Please, James, I don't want to argue anymore tonight. I have already done enough of it today. You and Sirius go back upstairs to bed."

James glared at him for a moment before storming out of the room. Sirius followed, giving Mr. Potter an innocent shrug.

Flopping down on Jane's bed, James glared angrily at the ceiling. "We're seventeen! We are old enough to know what's going on."

"Prongs, man." Sirius shook his head, his dark hair falling into his eyes. "Your dad's right, we just need to have fun for a bit. We don't have much time for it left. We'll save the world after we graduate, okay? Right now, let's just have some fun."

"Fine," James huffed, crossing his arms.

"Come on, you can't be pouting when she gets here." Digging around in a desk drawer, Sirius found a deck of cards. "Exploding Snap?" he asked, holding up the deck. James nodded and they sat crossed legged atop Jane's bed, using the card game to divert their attention until she arrived.

She did, about five minutes into the game, still wet and dripping. "Hey," she smiled weakly at them.

"Hey, Birdie." Sirius grinned widely and James tried to mimic him. "Wanna play?"

Shaking her head, she drug her feet to the bathroom. "I think I just want to sleep," she murmured before closing the door.

James magicked away the mess of cards with his wand and smiled at Sirius. "So, you want the right or left?" he asked, gesturing toward the bed.

"Right, of course. The window is on the left side," Sirius answered, already climbing into the bed.

When Jane emerged from the bathroom the two were tucked away between her sheets. "What are you doing?" she laughed, tucking a stray, damp curl behind her ear.

"Sleeping with you." Sirius smirked, patting the empty space in the middle.

"You are such dorks." She shook her head, smiling.

"Yeah, yeah. Get in already. I feel weird without something separating me and James." Jane bit her bottom lip for a moment before crawling in between them and curling up under the bright blue comforter.

O

"Alright, let's see what you've got in your stalker file, then," Jane said playfully, holding out her hand for James' list of everything he thought he knew about Lily. Sirius grinned at her smile, she hadn't done that since her parents left a week ago.

James hesitantly handed over the parchment and cringed as Jane bit down chuckles. "James, Lily's favorite flowers are not lilies. She is rather fond of tulips. And, she doesn't love licorice, she hates it. Where did you get this information?" she asked, glancing up at him. James glared angrily at Sirius and Jane chuckled. "You had him write everything down, didn't you?"

"Sirius! I am going to kill you," James roared and Sirius made a dash for the door.

After James had gotten several good punches and Sirius was curled up in a ball on the floor whimpering like a little girl, Jane called the fight to an end. "Honestly, James, it's your fault. You should have known he wasn't going to do a good job."

She unrolled the parchment to read a bit more, her reading glasses slipping down her nose. "James, you have ten things here. That's it? I was under the impression that you've been stalking her for a good two years now," she murmured as Sirius struggled to get to his feet and James continued to glower at him.

James shoved Sirius back to the ground as he finally managed to get to his feet. "That's all you wrote down! You idiot! Two years down the drain because of you!" He gave Sirius a swift kick in the ass before storming out of the room.

"Janie…" Sirius whined sitting on the floor, looking extremely pitiful. Jane laughed noiselessly and stood up, walking over to him.

"You're alright," she cooed, petting his hair.

Sirius smirked widely and grabbed her leg, pulling her to the ground. "I am, but you're not." He grinned, pinning her down and tickling her until tears spilled out of her eyes.

O

"Lily's favorite cookie?" Jane asked James over her spoonful of potatoes.

"Sugar," James grinned and Jane nodded.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "What's her shoe size?"

"Seven!" James exclaimed. Well, he was definitely making progress. So much, in fact, that Jane could almost overlook that fact that in his excitement, he almost flung a spoonful of the sugary disaster he was trying to pass off as dinner at her. She grabbed a handful of her potatoes and threw it forcefully at him, shouting "Food fight!" before diving under the table.

Before long the dining room was covered in various types of food, and James was huddled up in the corner as Jane and Sirius pelted him with whatever globs of food they could rake up.

"What on earth is going on in here?" Mrs. Potter shouted as she walked in to the room.

"Uh," Jane froze mid throw, Sirius and James already trying to sneak out of the room.

Mrs. Potter smirked and picked up a handful of what had once been Sirius' dinner. "A food fight," she offered and Jane nodded before the mess smacked her in the face. "Two against one isn't fair. You know that, Janie." Mrs. Potter grinned before throwing another handful at Sirius. "You two should know better than to gang up on my precious baby boy." Two identical looks of terror spread across Jane and Sirius' faces as Mrs. Potter grinned, again. James smiled widely and sat back to enjoy the show. His mum would totally murder them! "Oh no you don't, Jamesie, you'd better help me, or I'll get you as well," she said, sending another glob of food flinging at him as he tried to cop out.

* * *

Author's Note: If you found any mistakes, have any questions, enjoyed the chapter, or disliked the chapter let me know in a review or PM. All feedback is not only welcomed but embraced. 


	5. Chapter 5

Funnyface

Chapter Five

_Train Ride_

Footsteps pounded on the hard floor of King's Cross Station as Sirius, James, and Jane tried to weave their way through the crowds and make it onto platform nine and three quarters before the gateway closed. They were late, as always, the only difference this time was James had a meeting with Lily. His first meeting with Lily, and he really, really did not want to screw it up.

Jane was trying to keep up, she really was, but James and Sirius' legs were almost twice as long as hers and her pants wouldn't stay up. _Okay, so Lily has a point about the whole tighter clothes thing._ She was lagging way behind before the boys noticed. Sirius yelled to James, "You go ahead! I'll get the short one!"

While James nodded and ran ahead, Sirius stopped and waited until Jane ran by, then he grabbed her by the waist and threw her over his shoulder. "Holy Hades, Sirius! What are you doing? Put me down!" Jane hollered as she pounded her small fists into Sirius' back.

"No can do, Janie. If we run at your pace we'll miss the train." Sirius teased as he ran toward platform nine and three quarters, Jane still beating her fists into him and screaming like a banshee.

The train was already leaving as they arrived on the platform, steam pouring from the smokestack making the platform resemble the train stations in old black and white films, when the heroine left her love. Sirius sprinted forward and dove through the open door at the rear of the train. As he jumped on Jane's head smacked the side of the train with a loud _thwack_.

Swaying slightly as Sirius place her on her feet, Jane held a hand on the side of her head. "Ow, damn it Sirius, that hurt."

"Sorry, Jaybird." Sirius smiled apprehensively and tried to inspect her head for injury.

She shooed him away. "I'm fine."

He leaned back on his heels, shrugging. If he pushed it, he would get into trouble. "James must have left the door open for us," he said, to take his mind off it.

"Yeah," Jane muttered, still rubbing her head.

"You sure you're all right?" Sirius asked. Jane glared at him and his worried expression quickly vanished. Practically beaming at her, he said, "Well, come on, to the compartment!"

They walked down the corridor to 'their' compartment; Sirius shooting Jane worried glances every time she touched her head. Pushing the door open so forcefully it shook, Sirius yelled, "We're here!" causing Dorcas Meadows to jump four inches out of her seat. Sirius rolled his eyes as she glared at him over her book.

"Late again?" Peter asked, amused.

"Of course. We wouldn't have made it at all if I hadn't carried Janie half the way." Sirius smirked, ruffling Jane's hair.

"We would have been just fine and I probably wouldn't have this smashing headache if you would have just left me alone." Jane grumbled, dropping to the seat across Dorcas and resting her head against the window.

"Right, so time for a subject change then?" Dorcas asked, closing her book and placing it in the empty chair beside her.

Sirius plopped into the seat next to Jane and tossed his muddy boots on Dorcas' book, draping his arm across Jane's shoulders. Jane pushed him off and smiled at Dorcas. "I've missed you so, Dorcas." Glancing over to Peter, who had his mouth full of chocolate frog, Jane grinned. "You got one for me, Pete?"

"'Course, Janie." Pete smiled, revealing chocolate covered teeth, tossing Jane a spare chocolate frog.

Turning back to Dorcas as Jane opened her chocolate frog, she asked, "So, how was your summer?"

"Screw my summer. How do you think Lily is going to handle finding out James is Head Boy?"

"Jane already told her." Sirius shrugged, not interested in anything Dorcas Meadows had to say on the matter.

"Holy Hades," Jane muttered, her face rapidly losing color. "I forgot to write Lily…"

"How I'd love to be a fly on _that_ wall." Sirius laughed, stealing Jane's frog and stuffing it in his mouth.

"Hey!"

No one would have ever thought there was another young man sitting in the compartment. There was, however, his name was Derrick Hollister.

O

James barely made it on the train before it started moving. He sprinted down the corridor, and barely arrived at the Head's Compartment when he remembered Sirius and Jane. "Damn!" He turned around quickly and ran back to the door, slinging it open.

He arrived at the Prefect Compartment, panting heavily. _Oh well, Lily knows Jane is never on time for anything, I can blame her. _"Sorry I'm late Lily. Ja–"

He was cut off, by a very irate Head Girl. "What the hell are you doing here, Potter?" James cringed. Obviously, he was not forgiven about Diagon Alley. Lily's vivid green eyes narrowed at him, making him wish he could just fade into the background. "It is bad enough that the Head Boy didn't show without you interrupting my meeting with the prefects."

Stunned, James whispered fearfully, "Didn't Jane tell you?" When Lily continued to glare at him, he cursed Jane and muttered, "She was supposed to," under his breath. Then, taking a deep breath and screwing up his face in preparation for the explosion he said in one breath, "Lily, I'm Head Boy."

You could have heard crickets had there been any on the train. Lily stood mouth open, at a loss for words, her arms hanging limply at her sides. Most of the prefects were outraged, but a few seemed quite pleased with the turn of events. Not one, however, attempted to make a sound before Lily.

They stood that way for a while. Lily opened mouthed, staring at James. James' face screwed up, preparing for the blow. Finally, Remus Lupin broke the silence. "Lily, you are going to catch flies, and James, your face could get stuck like that."

Lily closed her mouth, and then opened it again, only to close it. She closed her eyes, whispering a silent prayer, and calmly said, "You're Head Boy. Right, Dumbledore is mad."

Smiling at her forced casual tone, James laughed. "That's what Sirius said."

"Well, I believe that's the first time Mr. Black and I have ever agreed on anything," Lily replied politely and handed James a roll of parchment. "We usually begin with a roll call."

James smiled faintly, and glanced down at the parchment. "Benjy Fenwick?"

It was weird, the two of them being civil. No one knew how to handle this situation; Lily screaming at James, they could handle; James asking Lily out, they could handle; Lily breaking James' nose, they could handle; James stuffing Lily into the rubbish bin to get her to shut up, they could handle. This _civility_,they could not handle.

O

With a heavy sigh, Remus clicked the Prefect Compartment door closed. Damn them, he had known them both since first year and they just kicked him out. What the bloody hell? He wanted to know what was going on and they just send him off to face Sirius without one tiny scrap of gory detail. They gave him nothing. They gave him civility! How dare they? Sending him off to face the dog without a bone, he would probably die before either of them returned.

Hanging his head in defeat, he made his way to find Sirius, Jane and Peter. Maybe he could just make something up.

As soon as the door was open, Sirius was on his feet prancing around Remus like an excited puppy. "So what happened? What curse did she use? Was it new? Did she punch him? Did he curse her? Did he? Did she?" He looked like a kid at Christmas or Sirius at Christmas.

"Nothing happened," Remus said, squeezing past him and sitting down between Dorcas and Derrick. He gave Dorcas a tiny smile of hello and ignored Derrick completely.

"What do you mean nothing?" Sirius' ears were actually drooping as he flopped back down into his seat, using Derrick as a footrest this time. Derrick shoved his muddy boots to the floor and glared at him. Sirius did not notice, nor did he care.

"I mean nothing. She screamed when he interrupted the meeting, he told her he is Head Boy, and then nothing. The meeting went on as usual." He paused and stood up, picking up Dorcas' book; he quickly waved away the mud with his wand and then did the same to his seat and trousers. "They were actually rather… civil."

Sirius stared at him, his grey eyes widening in amazement. "Whoa."

"Yeah, whoa," Peter repeated.

O

James sat on the small, deep brown sofa in the middle of the room as Lily perched on the table in front of him. "So I got your letter," she said with a small smile.

Running his hand through his hair, his eyes studying his shoelaces, James mumbled, "Oh, good."

"I would have replied, but your owl–"

"Peacock," James corrected without thinking, still refusing to look at her.

Lily almost chuckled. "I assure you James, it was an owl."

"No, no, that's his name." James finally looked up at her, with a half smile tugging at his lips.

"Oh, well, Peacock then, left before I could answer, and we don't have an owl." Lily averted her eyes when he tried to meet her gaze and watched the tubby, green-robed man sleep peacefully in his portrait across the room.

"It's alright. Honestly, no response was better than a Howler." James grinned.

Lily continued her intense examination of the portrait to keep from having to meet James' eyes. "I apologize for the way I acted that day. I was… harsh, I suppose, is the word."

"It's fine." James rested his hand on her knee to ask her to look at him. The moment their eyes made contact his cheeks flushed red and his hand quickly found another place to sit. "You might want to say something to Pete, though," he continued, his eyes now on the carpeted floor, unable to hold her gaze. "I know everyone thinks he is oblivious, but really he's, well, Peter's a good guy, he's part of the group. He thinks of as much stuff as the rest of us. He is just… He lives in his own world sometimes."

"Right, I know. I've tutored him remember. I was just aiming for what would sting the most, not caring about the innocents." Lily's small shoulders bounced up into a tiny, guilty shrug and she clasped her hands together in her lap.

"We need to–" James took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. "–I don't know, make a truce or something. I know were doing okay right now, but with our history…" His voice trailed off, and he nervously ran his hand through his hair, again.

"Of course, you're right. Um, maybe just start over?" Lily offered.

"Huh?" he asked, his mouth hanging open slightly and his eyes shining in confusion.

"Just, you know, start over. Let the past be the past, and start anew," Lily explained with a small smile. She had been thinking of doing this anyway. Honestly, sixth year of despising each other without just cause was ridiculous.

"Okay." James stuck out his hand. Grinning cheekily, he said in a very formal tone, "Hello, my name's James Potter."

"It's a pleasure to meet you Mr. Potter. I'm Lily Evans." Chuckling, Lily put her hand in James' hand. James could not help but think it fit there rather perfectly.

"I assure you, Ms. Evans, the pleasure's all mine." They shook hands and James smirked. "We're not going to keep call each other Mr. Potter and Ms. Evans, are we?"

"No, of course not, Pot – I mean, James. We are, however, going to make up a good story to feed our friends before we leave." Lily gave a smirk to match his.

For the first time, they were able to hold each other's gaze. James, as always, wondering why the stars hadn't thrown some sort of jealous rage over the fact that Lily's eyes were much prettier than them. Lily wondering why on earth she had never noticed how breathtakingly brilliant James' eyes shone when he was planning mayhem.

O

"So, what really happened on the train today?" Jane questioned Lily as they climbed into bed.

Lily answered, pulling down her red and gold sheets, "Exactly what I told you earlier, Jane."

"Lils, we both know that's bull. What really happened?"

"We…we made a truce." Lily climbed into bed, pulling her blankets up around her.

"A truce?" Jane looked at her long time friend, slightly confused.

"Yes, we decided to start over. Let the past be the past." Lily shrugged, blowing out her candle.

Smiling, Jane said, "Well, I am glad. It's hard having two of your friends at each others throats all the time." Pulling her covers over her, Jane blew out the candle on her nightstand and the room fell into darkness. "Night, Lily. Night, Dorcas." She bit her lip sadly, trying not to think about their missing dorm mate. _It has been three years, Jane, suck it up and get over it. _

"Good night," Lily whispered, ridding her mind of similar thoughts.

* * *

Author's Note: If you found any mistakes, have any questions, enjoyed the chapter, or disliked the chapter let me know in a review or PM. All feedback is not only welcomed but embraced. 


	6. Chapter 6

Funnyface

Chapter Six

_The DADA Professor_

Monday morning was a sordid affair; alarm clocks rang before dawn, the hot water ran low, first years stumbled about, lost and confused, and most importantly, Sirius Black could not find his lucky boxers. "I _packed _them. I know I packed them."

"Sirius, they are a stupid pair of underwear. Put on a different pair, for the love of Merlin, we are going to miss breakfast." James moaned, rummaging through his trunk for the thirteenth time to see if Sirius had accidentally placed his boxers in the wrong trunk.

"But, Prongs… this week will go horribly wrong if I don't wear them," Sirius whined, pacing the floor in only his towel.

"Damn it, Padfoot! Put on some effing pants already!" Remus yelled as Sirius' towel dropped to the floor for the third time.

Sirius smirked, picking up his towel. "What Moony, you jealous or something?"

"I will never be jealous of your tiny package, Padfoot. Get over it."

After several more minutes of Sirius' whining, the other boys convinced him that he would be just fine without his lucky boxers. He didn't really believe them, but he didn't want to be late for his first Defense Against the Dark Arts class. She hadn't been at the Welcoming Feast, but the word in the halls was the new DADA professor was hot stuff. Naturally, Sirius wanted to be a charming student and that meant arriving on time.

Breakfast passed uneventfully, unless you count Peter spilling pumpkin juice all over Remus, but that was a pretty common occurrence. Jane's feet dragged as they made their way to the fourth floor and to the classroom. "I hope everyday isn't like this."

"No worries, Janie, it will be." Sirius clapped her on the back, beaming.

Lily looked to Jane, wearing a similar exhausted expression. "Why is he so chipper?"

"As if I know." Jane sighed before yawning hugely and rubbing her eyes.

Sirius took a front row seat to be quickly joined by James and Jane. Remus, Peter and Dorcas stole the desk behind them, while Lily and Derrick nudged into a desk with the only Hufflepuff in advanced DADA, Marlene McKinnon.

Five minutes after the tardy bell rang, the professor rushed in. She wasn't exactly what Sirius had expected. Pretty, yes, but in a freaky sort of way. She had messy short green hair, pale green eyes, a slender body draped with a bright blue linen dress that swayed around her legs as she walked. She was younger than he expected as well, possibly twenty-five, more like twenty-three.

"Fucking hell, couldn't have given me an office of the same floor as my classroom, could you, Albus?" Her thick southern accent sounded throughout the quiet classroom, though she was merely muttering under her breath.

"Ah, people, good. Nice to see you all managed to find the room." She sighed heavily and shut the door. "Okay, first things first, my name is Alexandria Tate. Call me Professor Tate, or just Tate, or Alex if you please. Call me Alexandria and I will curse you until you can no longer scream."

Sirius nudged James with his shoulder and they exchanged excited smiles. Jane rolled her eyes. _Boys_. Perching on the edge of her desk, Professor Tate glanced around the room. "You, there." She waved a hand at her own hair. "Red, you look smart enough, take the roll for me." She tossed Lily a list of student names and Lily stood up. "No, no, just look around and put a check next to their name if they are here. You have gone to school with them for six goddamned years; you should be able to match a name to a face." Lily stared at her for a moment before sitting back down. Sirius bit down a chuckle at the expression on Lily's face. James shoved him; silently telling him to be nice. Rolling his eyes, Sirius blew his hair out of his face and propped his feet up on the desk.

"Okay, so Minerva gave me these," her pale green eyes flicked to a stack of papers in her hands and she wrinkled her nose. "Surveys. To see how much of the curriculum you have actually retained. I don't like surveys." She tossed them into the rubbish bin. Peter grinned, finally a professor who liked paper work as much as he did.

"I was a student once. I know how surveys work. You," she pointed to Sirius. "Will tell me your previous teachers were all shit; which I agree with, _but_ you will also tell me that you don't need this class because you are a brilliant student, who studied the book and taught himself the spells, which is complete bullshit." Sirius blinked at her in shock.

Standing up and running a tiny hand through her uncombed green hair, she walked down the aisle, pushing Sirius' feet to the floor, before coming to a halt beside Remus. Patting his head, she continued with her speech, "And you will be polite, and tell me that they_ did their best_, which, again, is complete bullshit." Remus attempted to look not offended, but the way his lips thinned into a small line gave him away.

Stuffing her hands in her pockets, she strolled back up to her desk. "So no surveys, ever." With a quick flick of her wand, the papers in the bin were set aflame. Dorcas almost died. Professor McGonagall had to have spent _hours_ working on those.

"The next thing you need to know, is I want to be here as much as you do: not at all. I am here because I owe Albus a favor. I should be in Central American studying the ancient Mayans with my favorite professor in a once in a lifetime opportunity. So, remember that every time you want to complain about me. I should be soaking in the sun with sexy foreign men and I am stuck here teaching you. _In_. _The_. _Cold_." Hopping back on to her desk, she pulled a booted foot onto it and retied the laces. Sirius tilted his head to the side. _If she would just move a fraction of an inch to the left…_

"I am sure you have all noticed you didn't have a book on your list for this class. That is because all the Defense texts out there suck ass. Luckily, for you, I actually care about your futures and don't want you to get killed your first day out in the real world, where there just happens to be a real war going on."

With a tap of her wand, nineteen freshly bound manuscripts appeared on her desk. "These contain the best excerpts from fifty-four different Defense texts, along with commentary by me, several Aurors and a dear friend of mine who has no skills whatsoever in Defense but he is funny, so I let him write some things from time to time to lighten up the class."

James and Sirius exchanged grins; they were going to like her. Sliding of her desk, once more, Professor Tate grinned widely. "All right, then, on to the fun stuff. Pick up a book and follow me, please. And Red?" Lily looked up at her. "Bring that, you'll be writing down scores."

"Right," Lily answered with a nervous smile.

Arriving on the grounds, Professor Tate announced, "Okay, gang. Welcome to my play ground and your new hell," gesturing to a giant obstacle course spreading out across the entire Quidditch pitch.

"My pitch! What have you done to my pitch?" James wailed, dropping to his knees.

Tate rolled her eyes. "No worries." She looked to Lily. "Name, please?"

"Oh, James. James Potter," Lily answered with a smile.

"Right, no worries, James James Potter. Odd to have the same first and middle name." She shrugged. "Your pitch will be back to its stunning self by the end of the week. Unless you all are as hopeless as I have been told. Then I will have to find a new place to put my course."

Sirius helped James off the ground. "Prongs, mate, it's all right."

"But… but…" James muttered incoherently.

Laughing, Jane shook her head. "James, you are such a freak, it's just Quidditch." James scowled at her. _Just Quidditch!_

Professor Tate raised her voice a couple of notches to be heard over the chatter. "All right, this course is filled with every dark creature imaginable. With the exception of a Dementor, a vampire, and a werewolf, as Dumbledore said I wasn't allowed. This first semester you will learn to defend your self against each one of these creatures. You should already know how… but again, you previous teachers were shit. Next semester we will move on to curses, which is the real fun stuff." She looked to Lily. "Call the first name, then."

"Oh, right," Lily looked down to her list. "Uh, Sirius Black."

"Ah, the cocky bastard." Tate grinned as Sirius looked up. He hadn't been paying the slightest bit of attention.

O

The first DADA class like all the rest to come was a living, breathing hell. In the first week, only Sirius and James had completed the course without sending up sparks for help. However, that was only because they were too proud and luck was on their side (and they could both run pretty damn fast). Transfiguration, Potions, Charms, Ancient Runes, and the others were just as difficult, if not quite as physical. With N.E.W.Ts on their way, the students' workload had doubled since last year.

Finally, Friday arrived and Jane flopped onto the big squishy sofa in the common room. "That was the worst first week ever," she complained to Lily and Dorcas.

Lily looked down at her and dropped her books on the floor. "It was the same as every first week, Jane. You are just choosing to forget how hard the past first weeks have been."

"No, the Bird is right. This week was exhausting," Sirius said loudly, hearing the girls' conversation as James, Remus, Peter, and he entered the common room. "We didn't even have time to pull a prank," he added as an afterthought.

"So business as usual for our first Friday night then?" James asked before everyone ganged up on Lily and Dorcas, who would be the only two that did not believe this, was the longest first week ever.

Sirius excitedly waved his wand and muttered a spell. "Most definitely!" All the chairs and sofas gathered around the fireplace vanished, causing Jane to land with a loud _thump_ on the floor.

"Oops, sorry Janie." He had a smile on his face that made him look like the cat that caught the canary. Jane looked up at him, but did not reply. She was too busy planning revenge. Holding his gaze, she stared into his soul trying to unnerve him. It wasn't working very well, but she at least had to make an attempt.

"All right everyone, to your places." James' voice interrupted her thoughts and she was forced to break eye contact with Sirius. Now stage one of the plan was ruined. Damn.

The group of seventh years all sat in a circle in the now empty space in front of the fireplace. "Jaybird, you can have the honors 'cause I dropped you on your bum," Sirius said, tossing Jane a small ball; it looked like a brightly colored golf ball except for the shimmering, magic dust that floated after it.

Jane caught it in one hand. Without really thinking, she said, "The consequence for not paying the bet – a dare of the winner's choice – is to kiss Severus Snape," she stopped and smirked. "Passionately." Little did Jane know she would soon be paying dearly for the consequence she placed on this game.

The tiny ball made a noise like a baby's burp and the shimmering dust covered Jane. As the dust faded, Jane tossed the ball to Peter, who tossed it to Dorcas, who passed it to Lily, who threw it at Sirius, who threw it behind his back and over his head to James, who handed it back to Jane. "And so the game is set."

For the three hours the group played high-stakes games of muggle Scrabble. As tradition, the seven students held a mini tournament with a muggle board game to welcome the first weekend of term. To make the game more interesting, the gang added in the bet ball; it made sure the loser of any bet paid or faced consequences. The bet ball was a nifty little device that compelled the loser to perform the consequence if the dare went undone.

Tallying up the scores again, Lily jumped up off the floor. "Yes! Finally, I WON! After five long years I _won_!" She danced around for a moment, her long red hair flying everywhere. James watched her in amazement, letting her win was _so_ worth it. Breathing heavily, she finally stopped. "Jane, the ball, if you please."

Jane reluctantly handed over the ball. She had the lowest number of points no matter how many times she forced Lily to recount. Lily won. Damn it, one of the boys would have had her do something stupid like break into Filch's office and steal something, but Lily? Lily would come up with something cruel.

Lily smiled, _oh yes! _They had chosen this game specifically because Jane had the worst spelling on the planet. Lily had told the boys earlier that day while Jane was still snoozing if they picked this game and let Lily win, the bet she would set for dear Janie would be wonderful for all. They had agreed quickly, after all, this was the closest thing to a prank they had gotten to all week.

"Jane, for a full twenty-four hours, you must dress like a girl," Lily said calmly and surely.

Stunned, Jane tried to talk her way out of it. "Lily, I don't own any girl clothes, and your stuff won't fit me. Where do you propose I find these girl clothes?"

"Yes, you do. The outfit you brought at Madam Malkin's," answered Lily, grinning.

"The whore outfit!" Jane shouted, outraged.

"It is not a whore outfit, it's really cute." Lily's grin faded and she said seriously, "You have to do it, Jane."

Jane looked like she was going to be sick. Nevertheless, she held out her hand to catch the ball and seal the deal. The boys exchanged wide grins; they should have listened to Lily ages ago.

* * *

Author's Note: If you found any mistakes, have any questions, enjoyed the chapter, or disliked the chapter let me know in a review or PM. All feedback is not only welcomed but embraced. 


	7. Chapter 7

Funnyface

Chapter Seven

_Great Guy_

"Jane, you have to," Lily said in a forcibly calm tone, from inside the girl's dormitory, blocking Jane's entrance back into the girl's dormitory as she made another dash back through the door.

"You said nothing about me having to leave my room and allow other people to see, Lily. I'm well within my rights here," Jane retorted determinately, gripping the edge of the doorframe as Lily tried to shove her down the stairs.

Lily slowly pried Jane's fingers from the frame, panting out, "Jane, you are going downstairs to breakfast. You are going to spend the day outside the common room doing your usual Saturday things. Whether you do it the hard way or the easy way _you are going to do it_!" The last was said in a fit of screeching anger; they had been at this for almost an hour.

"No!" exclaimed Jane as Lily managed remove her grasp from the door.

"Sirius, the stairs," Lily yelled downstairs.

Sirius Black sat at the bottom of the boy's staircase listening to Lily and Jane argue, blowing a few strands of silky, black hair up and watching them float back down before doing it again. It was his own personal version of twiddling his thumbs. He smirked as he heard his name before lazily raising from his seat on the steps.

"I really didn't want to have to do this Jane," Lily murmured, smiling apologetically. Jane stared confusedly at her. _What is going on?_

Sirius slowly strode up the first three steps of the girl's staircase just as Lily had ordered, well, maybe not exactly; he had taken his own sweet time: Lily had told him to run. He stepped back, shoving his hands into his pockets, his smirking widening at Jane's yelp of fright.

The stairs suddenly turned to a slide and Jane tumbled very ungracefully down them, smashing into Sirius at the bottom. Lily followed down neatly as she had been prepared and sat as the stairs morphed. _The Marauders should have made an alliance with Lily Evans ages ago, she is a devious little witch,_ Sirius thought, before he felt a sharp pain in his ribs.

The mass of tangled limbs at the bottom of the staircase gave a muffled yelp of pain and Lily grinned. Evidently, Jane blamed Sirius for this mess. She was off the hook. _Yes! Even more benefits to using Black_, Lily mentally exclaimed.

"Damn it Jane, that hurt," Sirius growled, trying to shove her off him.

"How could you do that to me? You're supposed to be on my side!" Jane yelled, standing up and attempting to straighten out her skirt.

Sirius stood up, clutching his side where Jane had elbowed him. He was about to give her a nasty retort, but when he saw her, all inklings of anger faded. Actually, all coherent thought faded.

Jane –_Jane Walker– _was standing in front of him in what Sirius could only describe as a _dress_. More shocking than that, however, was the modestly scooped neck of the top. With Jane slightly bent as she vainly attempted to untangled the long skirt from her legs, Sirius caught a clear view of– _Holy hell,_ Sirius almost shouted, _Janie has tits!_

As she straightened, Jane crossed her arms, only making Sirius' new discovery even more noticeable. How _exactly_ had he missed that? He blinked once, finally arriving at the realization that he was practically _ogling_, and allowed his eyes to travel elsewhere. _Shit, that was a mistake_, he almost hissed at himself as he found proof of the thing he had been vainly trying to deny since he noticed Jane's hips that summer. Jane Walker, the girl James considered his kid sister, was in fact _a girl_. As in the _snog­-_able, _shag_-abletype of girl, not the food-fight, late night chat, drinking buddy, kiss-her-to-make-her-laugh type of girl, but the _shag_-able type of girl.

He was seriously contemplating throwing her over his shoulder, marching up the stairs and getting acquainted more personally with this _new shag­-_able Jane, until she opened her mouth. "Get it over with, Black. The whore comment and the laughter so I can leave." The phrase brought him straight back down to earth. Just because she looked shag-able, didn't mean she was. Jane Walker was Jane Walker, and she wasn't the type of girl to do anything other than be_ friends_ with Sirius Black. And she definitely wasn't the type of girl to go for being _friends-with-benefits_.

There was an absurdly long pause, in which Jane stared defiantly up at Sirius, and Sirius gazed bewilderedly at Jane, not knowing what to say.

Sirius opened his mouth and his smartass remark died on his lips. "You look lovely, Janie," he whispered, tucking a stray curl behind her ear.

"Fuck off," Jane responded coldly, whipping around and practically running from the common room. Evidently, he should have gone with the smartass remark.

With a strangled laugh, Lily glanced up at Sirius. "So, that went…" her voice trailed off and she patted his arm before slowly leaving the common room.

James came down the stairs about ten minutes later. Sirius was still standing, staring at the spot Jane had vacated. "Padfoot, you alright?"

"I think we made a mistake," he said tonelessly, not moving.

"What about? I thought Marauders couldn't make mistakes?" James asked lightly, giving his friend an odd look.

"Jane. She cursed at me."

"You mean she cursed you?"

"No." Sirius turned to face James, his face almost horrorstruck. "She said 'fuck off'."

"We made a mistake." James agreed, nodding his head and gulping.

O

Lily searched for Jane for over an hour with no luck. She hadn't meant for this to turn into such a big mess. Jane usually handled things much better than this. Deciding that Jane must have found some hidden room to lock herself away in, Lily set out to find Derrick. She was half-way to the Ravenclaw dorms when she found him. "Derrick!" she exclaimed gleefully.

"Hey, Lily doll. I've been looking for you." His dirty blonde hair was cut short around his ears. He claimed his slightly crooked nose had been broken during a Quidditch match over during some distant summer, but no one had ever seen him on a broom.

"Have you? I thought I was the only one doing some searching today." Lily's voice turned abnormally sweet, like it always did when she was talking to Derrick as she snuggled into his embrace.

"Never. I'm always looking when you're not around." That was true, he was looking at other 'skirts' as Jane tended to call them.

"Hmm" and that was the last sound intelligible sound from either of them for quite awhile.

O

Lunch was an awkward affair. Sirius was abnormally subdued throughout the meal and Jane didn't feel the need to apologize. _He deserves to feel guilty_, she thought harshly. James just kept his mouth shut; if Sirius had screwed up royally by saying she looked nice; he and his stupid mouth did not stand a chance. Peter sat, oblivious, or so everyone thought. Lily was missing. Dorcas, as usual for the weekend, sat with Jeremiah, her boyfriend and study buddy. The awkward silence surrounding the table was almost too much for Remus to bear, so he mentioned Quidditch and everyone fell into easy conversation.

After lunch, things finally returned to normal. Lily had popped up from wherever it was that she had been hiding and the group strolled about the castle enjoying the first Saturday of the school year. "Let's play hide-n-seek!" Sirius yelled suddenly.

"What?" Lily asked.

"You can't leave the castle and the dungeons are off limits," Sirius said, ignoring Lily. "Peter, you're it, 'cause," he paused, trying to find a reason, "I said so." Then, he took off down the hall. When no one followed, he yelled loudly, "Scatter!" and everyone followed orders.

Jane took off her shoes, and wandered around the school looking for a decent place to hide. She was on the third floor when it happened. Albus Dumbledore appeared out of thin air three feet in front of her. "Oh! Professor, you scared me."

"I believe that was the purpose," Professor Dumbledore replied.

"What?" Jane asked confusedly.

"I must say, Ms. Walker, you look quite lovely today." The Headmaster's eyes twinkled as he spoke.

"I lost a bet," Jane said simply.

"Ah, I see." A brief look of disappoint flashed in his eyes, then he was gone.

"What in the name of Hades was that all about?" Jane asked the portrait in front of her, but the man inside just shrugged.

O

Later that night, Lily arrived back at the common room swollen lipped, having been found by someone other than Peter. Jane sat in the floor in her regular pajamas, sweats and a t-shirt, leaning against the sofa between Sirius' knees, while he attempted to pluck out all the bobby pins holding her hair up. "Jane, you can't wear that, you have to wear girl clothes," Lily said, annoyed.

"What's the difference between girl pajamas and guy pajamas?"

"Upstairs, now!" Lily demanded, avoiding the fight that was sure to follow. Sirius glared at her, multiple bobby pins stuck in his lips, and gestured to Jane's hair. Rolling her eyes, Lily sighed. "Fine, as soon as Sirius finishes playing Mr. Mum, get your ass upstairs."

As soon as Sirius plucked the last one from her hair, Jane popped up and followed orders dutifully, saluting Lily before she trudged up the stairs. Lily rolled her green eyes again and followed her up the stairs.

"You want me to wear what?" Jane's outraged cry rang through the entirety of Gryffindor Tower. "That's practically nothing!" Sirius and James chuckled, while Remus shook his head, attempting to appear as if he just read something funny. Considering he was reading his potions book, that was rather unlikely.

When Lily finally convinced Jane to go back downstairs, Sirius and James both had their eyes focusing on the floor, afraid that if they saw her they would say something stupid. Jane sat down in the floor beside Peter, maneuvering around carefully as not to show the world her panties. _Why the Hades would someone want to wear something she can't even move in? _"Ready to hit the books, Pete?" she said cheerfully.

"As always, Jay-Jay." His round cheeks turned a rosy pink as she dropped down beside him.

"All right, Charms first?" she asked and pulled the charms book off the top of the pile before them. Peter nodded, not saying a word.

"Okay," she flipped through the book to find the correct page. "267."

Peter looked at Jane shyly, saying, "If you don't want to do this tonight, Jane, we don't have to."

"I'm fine, Pete. But thanks for the offer." She smiled at him, and as she looked at him, she noticed he seemed a little nervous. Catching his eye, she spoke softly. "Pete, just 'cause I'm in a dress, it doesn't mean I'm any different."

"I know, Jane. It's just…never mind." When she quirked an eyebrow and didn't turn away from his gaze he sighed and said what he wanted to say. "Honestly, though, you did look pretty today. I know that everybody is saying that, but I mean you looked like a different kind of pretty today." He stopped and put his face in his hands, sighing. "I am so screwing this up." Jane watched with a curious look about her face.

Peter looked up and held her eyes, "What I mean to say is, you are always pretty to me, and the guys, but today you showed everybody else, and it was nice to see everyone else see how lovely you are. But just for the record, I like your jeans better. You look more like you in them," at that, he smiled.

"Thank you," Jane whispered. "You really are a great guy, Pete." She mussed his hair before diving into their homework.

* * *

Author's Note: If you found any mistakes, have any questions, enjoyed the chapter, or disliked the chapter let me know in a review or PM. All feedback is not only welcomed but embraced. 


	8. Chapter 8

Funnyface

Chapter Eight

_Kissed_

James Potter paced the small classroom where he and Lily had agreed to meet, running his hand nervously through his hair and chewing a hole in his bottom lip. Today was his first one on one meeting with Lily. The others, with Professor McGonagall, had gone quite well, or so James thought. (He _had _made her laugh.) However, being _alone _with Lily, well, he just wasn't sure if he was prepared for that.

_Just don't be an ass. Just don't be an ass, _he repeated over and over again in his mind like some sort of demented mantra. Those were the only words of advice he could remember from Remus' twenty-minute long lecture. He gulped hard as he heard the door open. _Oh, hell, she's here. Breathe, Potter, breathe. DO NOT BE AN ASS! _

Lily entered the little classroom to find James' staring straight ahead facing the wall opposite her, completely still, his shoulders squared and his hands balled into fists. He looked nervous. No, that wasn't right. James Potter didn't get nervous. Did he?

"Hey James, sorry I'm a little late," she said softly, closing the door behind her.

When he didn't turn around and still stood glaring at the wall, she quietly asked, "James? Is everything okay?"

Pushing a lock of red hair behind her ear, she bit her lip, not quite sure how to handle a nervous James Potter. She should have asked Jane; Jane knew how to handle all versions of James, no matter his state. Of course, Lily hadn't thought of that; she was still learning that there was more to James than an arrogant, Quidditch obsessed, bullying prat. A _funny_, arrogant, bullying, Quidditch obsessed prat, Lily added silently, the corners of her lips quirking up into a tiny smile.

_Turn around and say something! You are being an ass by ignoring her, _James mentally screamed as Lily called again. He quickly whipped around, so fast, in fact, that Lily jumped and released a little gasp. _Oh boy, that was a mistake. _

James had never seen Lily quite as stunning as she looked in that moment, her green eyes dancing with contentment and mild confusion, chewing idly on her plump bottom lip, her clothes just a little rumpled, suggesting that she had been up to something not quite fitting for the Head Girl. And she was most definitely _not_ glaring, he noticed with surprise.

_She is too damn pretty to speak to. I need to be bowing down to her lovely-ness_, James thought. And, so, he did. Suddenly, he fell to his knees in front of her before he realized what he was doing.

"Er…James what _are_ you doing?" Lily asked bemusedly, staring down at him, fighting the urge to chuckle.

Hanging his head, he muttered, "Being an ass," to the floor.

"What?" Lily giggled.

_Well_, James sighed,_ at least I managed to make her laugh. Well, having her laugh _at_ me isn't exactly the greatest, but it's better than her screaming at me._

"Moony told me, 'just don't be an ass, James, and you'll do fine,'" James explained, climbing off the floor, his hazel eyes shinning in defeat. He ran a frustrated hand through his hair, sighing audibly. "And here I am _being an ass_," the words were said in a fashion that left no doubt that he felt like a complete and utter failure. Whether or not that was intentional, we may never know, but it certainly worked to his advantage.

"I'm confused." Lily perched atop the nearest desk, crossing her freckled legs at the ankles and resting her elbows on her knees, her chin in her hands. "Why don't you explain this to me?"

James sighed heavily, coming to sit on the desk in front of her, staring at his hands the entire time he spoke. "Well, I asked Moony for help, 'cause he the only one of my friends with half a brain and Jane, well, Jane's not much help with my 'Lily issues.' She's under the impression that it will lead to her demise."

Lily raised an arched, red eyebrow at that. "Lily issues?" she queried, not at all concerned that Jane believed Lily would murder her for crossing enemy lines with classified information. Little did Lily know; Jane had spent the majority of her summer filling James' head with all sorts of little details Lily never wished him to know.

"Oh, that's what Sirius calls anything that has to do with you and me, and my inability to act like anything but an ass around you," James answered with a shrug, as if it was common knowledge. Perhaps it was, at least within the ranks of the Marauders.

As she released a little chuckle through her nose, James risked a glance in her direction. The tiny grin tugging at the corners of her lips only encouraged him. Lily had unknowingly boosted James already enlarged ego.

"Ass is Moony's word, by the way, James added, earning himself a full smile.

"Anyway, Moony said 'just don't be an ass' and I have already failed miserably. I didn't even say hello, and that was step number one." He lifted his gaze to her fully now and Lily's heart reached out to him.

She had to resist the urge to wrap him up in a hug when those innocent hazel eyes flicked up to meet her green ones. He was making such an effort not to be an egoistical prat that he somehow ended up helpless. (James would later tell Sirius that the puppy dog eyes worked charms on Lily Evans, though whether or not he appeared to be an abandoned puppy on purpose is anyone's guess.)

"James, it's okay." Unable to keep herself from touching him, she placed her hand on his shoulder hoping that the minimal contact would quench her need to hold him. "Look, we're not going to change overnight, just because we agreed to start over. Honestly, I don't want you to become a completely different person," Lily told him softly. James opened his mouth to speak, but thought better of it and let her continue. "I may tend to despise you at times, but I really do think you have some redeeming qualities, excluding cursing innocents and asking me out at least once a day, of course."

Grinning, James teasingly asked, "Does that mean you'll accompany me on the first Hogsmeade trip of the year, Ms. Evans?"

Rage flashed in the deep green depths of Lily's eyes and she whirled out of the room like a hurricane. James' jaw dropped. _Shit!_

Suddenly, Lily returned, laughing loudly at his opened mouth expression. "Sucker!" she giggled, pointing at him.

Still staring her, mouth agape, James tried to process what had just occurred. "Does that mean yes?" he questioned after a moment, and Lily laughed louder, shoving his shoulder as she returned to her perch.

"No, James, it doesn't," she chuckled, eyes sparkling brightly, "but I totally got you. Do I get some kind of price for outwitting _the_ prankster?"

"You did not–" James started, but cut off, changing his mind. "Of course, Ms. Evans." He smirked before place a chaste kiss on her lips.

Lily wrinkled her freckled nose as he sat back. "I should've slapped you."

"But you didn't," James replied, his smirk widening. "And now it's too late."

O

Dorcas Meadows was curled up on her favorite armchair in the Gryffindor common room, reading The Rune Dictionary when Sirius Black finally decided to grace the world with his presence. "What the hell are you reading, Meadows?" he asked, flopping down on the couch. The first year that had previous occupied the location scurrying away before he was flattened.

Rolling her eyes, she sighed heavily and ignored him.

"You are really bad at that, you know? You shouldn't have sighed, you gave yourself away." She bit her tongue and tried to focus on her book. "Is that the _dictionary_?" he queried, quite appalled.

Snapping the book closed, she placed it in her lap. "What the hell do you want?" she ground out between clenched teeth.

"Where's James or Jane?" he shrugged blowing his hair out of his eyes, her ire having no effect whatsoever on him.

"Jane is on the Quidditch Pitch with that little Brooke kid and James is with Lily," she answered curtly, opening her book again and propping it up on her knees.

"Thanks!" Sirius said cheerfully, hopping off the couch and casually striding out of the common room, making sure to knock Dorcas' book to the floor and mutter an insincere apology.

Slowly, he strolled out to the grounds, stopping only to flick a couple of dung bombs under Flich's office door. Jane was a much better option than James was when he was with Lily. He was always so… not James around her. However, even Sirius had to admit the past two weeks had been better. James and Lily had been getting along rather amicably, even if James was overly nice.

Sirius sighed, damning Moony, his furry little problem, and his need to sleep all the time. They _could_ _have_ caused some sort of ruckus together, but no, Remus Lupin wanted to catch up on his sleep. And, Peter, of course, was _studying_; Sirius wanted no part in that.

Sighing audibly, he shoved his hands into his pockets and rounded the corner of the castle and the Quidditch pitch came into view. A smirk spread across his lips as he saw Jane, smiling happily and waving her arms as she attempted to gain the attention of the boy flying in a steep dive toward the ground. "Hey Jaybird!" he yelled loudly and she turned to him, grinning.

_Merlin, I love her smile._

Sirius came to an abrupt halt, his haughty smirk faltering; he _so_ did not just think that.

"Padfoot! You decided to join the land of the living," Jane hollered back before flying down to him. Forcing a smiled, Sirius made his way to her as she hopped off her broom and waved Brooke down. "Did you see much of him?" she asked breathlessly.

"Nope, just got here." He shrugged and ruffled her hair, falling into big-brother mode in an attempt to stop the little voice in his head that said she looked quite lovely with her cheeks flushed red in excitement and her hair a tangle mess from the wind. _No, she looks like an imp_, he told it angrily.

Batting his hand away, Jane mock glared. "Stop it. I hate that."

When his hand retreated to his pocket, she grinned up at him. _A ridiculously cute imp_.

"So, Jared is trying out for Beater. I told him I'd help him learn James' drills before tryouts, but he could probably use some tips on the chasing around rogue iron balls thing. I don't know too much about it, being a Seeker and all."

Sirius snorted. "I do nothing for free."

"Not even for me?" she asked, her big eyes begging.

"Not even for you." Chuckling slightly he kissed her forehead, mentally congratulating himself for not aiming for her lips. Not that he wanted to kiss Jane.

Jared Brooke chose that moment to drop down beside them, swinging off his broom and grinning broadly at Jane. "Thanks, so much, Janie. I really appreciate it." Sirius frowned at him. _Little brownnoser_._ She's my imp. You're not allowed– _Sirius blinked, mentally whacking himself upside the head. _Oh, hell…_

"No problem." Jane smiled, throwing her broom over her shoulder. "I didn't have anything to do today, anyway. Sirius said he wouldn't mind giving you a few tips Thursday after class. Meet us here about six?" Sirius opened his mouth to deny her claim, but she quickly flicked her wand and silenced him.

"Awesome! Yeah, I'll be here," the third year grinned widely, kissing Jane's cheek before jogging off to the locker room.

Sirius glared at his retreating form, before grabbing Jane around the waist as she turned for the castle. Pulling her flush against him and narrowing his eyes, he growled, "I said I wouldn't do it." Jane chuckled and placed her hands on his chest, leaning back a little bit to see his face.

"You said you wouldn't do it for free." She smirked impishly. "Now we just have to decide what I owe you for your kindness."

His grey eyes flashed mischievously and a wide smirk pasted itself on his face. "You do realize, you just placed yourself at my mercy," he murmured huskily, burying his nose in her neck.

Chuckling, Jane shoved him from her. "You think you are frightening, Sirius, but you're not." With a shrug, she strode to the castle once more.

Distracted by her claim, he shouted, "Yes I am!" at her retreating form before chasing after her. "I am frightening!"

O

"Sirius so does not have a thing for Jane!" James laughed at the absurdity of Lily's statement. "He would tell me if he did. Plus, he's like me, he thinks of Jaybird as a kid sister."

How the two had gone from Hogsmeade trips to Sirius' love life they could not remember. If a Hogwarts student happened to cross the room they were filling with the easy chatter and happy laughter of friends, they would have never believed it to be Lily Evans and James Potter occupying the room.

"I don't know. If I was a guy I would _not_ tell my best friend I had a crush on his 'kid sister' You could totally get your ass kicked that way," said Lily, pulling her long hair up into a ponytail.

James scoffed. "I wouldn't have to kick anyone's ass. Jane can do that herself."

Shaking her head, and pulling her feet up on to the desk, Lily smiled lightly. "No, I suppose you wouldn't."

"You really think Sirius has a thing for her?" asked James seriously, his eyes a little wider than usual with disbelief.

Lily nodded, biting down the smirk that threatened to escape at his expression. "I know he does."

"Does she _thing_ him back?" he asked, awed.

"She hasn't said. Honestly, I doubt she will notice. Jane's pretty oblivious." Lily looked at the ground shrugging, a long strand of red hair falling into her face.

"Like you," he whispered to himself. When Lily's head shot up to look at him, James quickly apologized. "I'm sorry, that was ass-y."

"What do you mean, like me?" Lily questioned, seeming genuinely interested.

With the way they were sitting, it was hard to break eye contact without looking like you were doing it on purpose. James vainly attempted to hold her vivid green gaze, but sighed and flicked his eyes toward the window before muttering, "Nothing. It's just sometimes I think you're oblivious to me."

"To you? How could I be oblivious to you, James? You ask me out once a week," Lily laughed, tucking the fallen bit of hair behind her ear.

James shook his head and made eye contact, again. "No, Lily. I mean, yes, I do." Smiling fondly at the memories, he watched Lily attempt to hide her own behind a hand.

"But Lily, you don't realize how much I care for you. I really do love you. I know that sounds stupid, because we hardly know each other, but at the same time I know it's true." He stood up and began to pace, running his hand through his hair.

"I'm hopeless, and silly, I know," he said with a dry laugh. "I knew it – that I loved you – that day, after O.W.Ls. Sirius and I were hanging Snape upside down and you defended him. You are always so _right_. Not good or perfect or any of those things, you are _right_. You do the right thing, even if it's not easy." James paused, shaking his head; he was rambling as he stared out the window, watching the sun sink lower in the sky. They had been there much longer than the two hours they had planned to be, it must have been long passed dinner.

Lily was staring at him, opened mouthed, a little wrinkle wedged between her brows. "I'm silly, I know," James repeated, turning to her. "But I…"

He stepped closer to her, standing between her knees. "But I…"

They were both staring at each other now, bare inches apart. James leaned down toward her; he could've counted her eyelashes had he had the time and he promised himself he would next time. For some absurd reason, he found he wanted to know just exactly how many little lashes Lily Evans had. "But I…" he said for the third time.

And she kissed him.

James did not move, did not dare breathe, Lily Evan was kissing him, and it was better than any kiss he had ever had in his life. Which was saying something, really, as James Potter had been quite the busy boy in his time.

_Oh, God,_ Lily thought, running her fingers up into his hair and sighing against his lips, moments after James Potter realized his mistake.

Lily wasn't single. Not even close. _But, Merlin she tastes good. _

Slipping one hand around her back and the other to the nape of her neck, he deepened the kiss, telling himself that Lily knew she was dating Derrick; she wouldn't have kissed him if she cared.

O

Jane stood up and stretched her arms above her head, yawning widely. "Where do you think you are going?" Remus asked, pulling her back onto the couch with him. She was not going to leave him alone with a huffy Sirius and a snoring Peter. Especially, when she was the one who put Sirius into the awful mood to being with.

"To take a soak in the Prefect's Bath. My muscles are all achy from flying." Jane laughed standing up again.

"But-"

"But, nothing, Moony. You will be perfectly fine. He will be back to his bright and happy self the moment I leave, you mark my words." She quirked a blonde eyebrow and pecked his cheek. Sirius didn't even realize they were talking about him. "See you in a couple hours." Sneaking out of his reach, she skipped up to the girl's dormitories to grab some pajamas.

Remus pale blue eyes watched her leave before Sirius' voice caught his attention.

"What?" he asked turning to Sirius in confusion.

Sirius roughly ran a hand through his hair. Knowing he needed some sort of explanation for his odd mood and not wishing to give Remus the real reason, he said, "Jane said I wasn't scary."

"Why would you _want_ to be scary?"

Sighing, Sirius frowned. "Well, we were on the pitch today and she kind of black mailed me, and I was trying to be threatening and it didn't work. She just smirked at me and then… laughed."

Remus broke out into a fit of chuckles. "You are an idiot."

Sirius nodded for a moment before what Remus said actually seeped into his brain. "No, I'm not!" Remus just shook his head, his laughter increasing tenfold.

O

Merlin, they were driving him insane. Barely two weeks back in school and the damn little buggers were already annoying him beyond reason. How he missed the good old days when there had actually been intelligent people to converse with. It had been two years since Evan Rosier had graduated and almost four for Narcissa and Lucius Malfoy, you would think by now he would have gotten used to it. As for Lily's constant refusal to meet his gaze, well, that was his own damn fault.

Severus Snape sighed heavily and trudged out of the dungeons, gulping down a potion for his throbbing headache, intent on taking an absurdly long soak in the Prefect's Bath.

Reaching the fifth floor, he pulled out his wand and wondered over the statue of Boris the Bewildered before stopping and scratching his head.

_Left or right? _

Closing his eyes, he pinched the bridge of his nose.

_Counterclockwise_.

Edging up close to the door on the left, scowling fiercely, he whispered, "Tiny bubbles."

Forcing the door open, he stepped inside. The sight that greeted him was most definitely not what he had expected.

* * *

Author's Note: I apologize for the extremely _long_ wait for this chapter, I have been a busy girl lately. However, it seems things may be slowing down at bit, and I shall be able to get back a updating weekly, or at least bi-weekly. Thank you for your patience, you guys are great. Any and all feedback is not only welcomed, but embraced. 


	9. Chapter 9

Funnyface

Chapter 9

_Charming Walker_

_Her meeting should have been over hours ago, _Derrick Hollister thought irately, storming out of the Ravenclaw common room. _Damn James Potter. Damn him to hell. _He continued down stairs and stomped through the corridors to the fifth floor where Lily had told him she was meeting the HeadBoy.

As he neared the room, he heard her laughing. James Potter made her laugh._ That arrogant prick_. Derrick balled his hands up into fists intent on running though the door in a jealous rage before taking a deep breath and mentally chiding himself. Honestly, he was not a foolhardy Gryffindor.

In addition, Lily would not do something like that. Lily Evans was an honorable witch. Derrick knew that first hand. They had been dating for over five months and he had yet to shag her. _Of course_, Derrick smirked, _it won't be long and she'll be screaming–_

Suddenly, he heard her melodious laugh floating through the crack in the door again and his thoughts were abruptly halted. Narrowing his eyes in confusion, he edged closer to the door, peering inside. Gently, pushing it open he gazed inside to find Lily Evans, _his _girlfriend, the girl _he_ had spent _months_ trying to shag, snogging ruddy James Potter. And _enjoying_ it, if his eyes weren't deceiving him.

_Well, fuck this,_ he thought angrily. There was no way in hell he was going to be the one dumped, no way. Storming down the hall, he set off to find someway to brutally crush Lily Evans.

Derrick smirked maliciously as he watched the unmistakable figure of Jane Walker pat the head of Boris the Bewildered before disappearing into the depths of the Prefect's Bath. He already had the perfect plan.

O

Jane dove into the warm depths of water, swimming downward until her fingers gazed the bottom of the pool-sized bath. As she surfaced, large pink and blue bubbles filled the air around her, taking flight from the water, dancing merrily. Wiping her heavy wet locks from her face, Jane blew the bubbles clinging to her nose into the air.

"Lily is _so_ lucky," she told the room as she took in its grandeur. The entire room was white marble, with a large pool-size tub sank into the middle of the floor, surrounded with bejeweled taps that gave the prefects over a hundred different choices in bubble bath. Jane was quite fond of the football sized pink and blue bubbles, as they were unscented and tended to take flight at the slightest provocation.

Dipping back down under the water, Jane swam to the edge of the bath, hoisting herself up and climbing out. Bubbles and water splashed into the white marble floor as she carefully traipsed across the room toward her messy pile of discarded clothes. After a few moments of fumbling in the pockets of her pants, she removed her wand with a joyful exclamation of "gotcha!"

After several failed attempts and a few complicated twists and flicks of her wand, combined with a collection of muttered swearwords, she managed to transform her faded pair of jeans into a record player. She grinned at her accomplishment, and with a few minor adjustments, the sweet sounds of Pink Floyd encompassed the room.

She had just slipped back into the water, closing her eyes and humming along with the tune as the door gently creaked open. "Remus, honestly, you can't manage him for ten minutes on your own?" she asked, not opening her eyes.

Derrick Hollister grinned. "Sorry Jane, didn't know anyone was in here."

Jane's eyes popped open as she lost her footing and slipped into the depths of the water. Gulping and sputtering as she surfaced, gripping the edge of the pool, she found herself staring into a pair of frightening brown eyes. "Hey," she breathed.

"You alright?" Derrick asked, taking her arm in pretense of steadying her. Jane nodded, gazing up at him confusedly. "Sorry again." He smiled charmingly as she pulled away. "I didn't mean to frighten you."

Jane forced a smile, propelling herself into the middle of the pool, and away from him. "Right, well, I'll see you later."

"Oh, come on, Jane," he pleaded, "don't make me leave. What's the harm in–"

Cutting him off, Jane fervently wished she had not left her wand beside the fluffy white towels in the corner, not so conveniently behind Derrick. "Look, Derrick, I don't know what you think you're doing, but honestly, it isn't funny. Please leave."

Instead of obeying her, he sat at the edge of the pool, removing his shoes nonchalantly. "I don't understand you, Jane," he said almost to himself. "Why can't we be friends? It's not from lack of effort on my part. I mean, I go out of my way to spend time with you, with all of Lily's friends, only to be ignored or taunted at every turn. Why is that, Jane?" By now, his voice had gone ragged with anger.

Jane shook her head, willing the panic in her chest to subside, to allow her to think clearly. As it was, she could barely remember to breathe. Something about him – the way he was moving, his tone, and the malicious way his eyes glinted in the candlelight – gripped her heart with an intense fear that she could not overcome. "Derrick, please, you need to go," she begged softly.

He laughed, loud, cruel, and deep. "Go? Why would I want to _go_, Jane?" Rolling his eyes, he pulled off his shirt, and slipped out of his trousers. "I'd have to be an idiot to turn down an opportunity to take a bath with such a lovely little thing as you, Janie."

Frowning, Jane slowly made her way toward the opposite edge of the water. If she could time it right, she might be able to get to her wand before he managed to climb out of the pool. It was all just a matter of controlling her nerves long enough to wait until he actually dove into the water. She was barely keeping herself from making a run for the door at that very second. But that would be suicide and she knew it. "What about Lily? We wouldn't want to hurt her and us–" She gulped, panic almost overwhelming her. "–doing _this_, would most surely hurt her. You're her boyfriend, Derrick and I – I'm her best friend. We couldn't do that to Lily. "

"Oh, Jane," Derrick said almost empathically, poising himself at the edge of the pool to slide in. "Hasn't she told you? She's fucking your little friend Potter. So, I really doubt that–" He cut off, halting his descent into the pool, as Jane hoisted herself up, and dragging herself out of the water.

Blindly, Jane ran across the room, dashing for the pile of towels in the far corner and her wand. She slipped backwards, crashing to the slippery floor, the back of her skull colliding cruelly with the marble, forcing the air from her lungs, and everything went dark, if only for a moment.

Groaning, Jane blinked her blurry eyes, rolling to her side as she raised a hand to head, inspecting the wound. Before she was able to distinguish whether the wet substance on her fingers was water or blood, she felt someone kneel beside her. She gasped out in pain as he grabbed her wrist in a bruising grip, jerking it away from her. Unable to suppress her whimper, she turned her blurry gaze to the person beside her.

Panic swelled up inside her as the memory of what exactly was occurring flooded back into her mind. Gasping for breath, she did the only thing she could think of: she slammed her free fist into his jaw. Praying that the crack she heard was his jaw breaking and not the sound of the bones in her hand shattering, she attempted to scurry away from Derrick. However, as she lifted her head her entire world span and the bile in her stomach rose up, causing her to retch on the floor.

Derrick fisted her long hair in his hand, yanking her off the floor. "You stupid little bitch!" he hissed. "All I wanted was to fuck you, Walker, just to teach your little whore of a friend a lesson. It didn't have to be like this. You could have enjoyed this, too. I gave you a choice, you know." As he slammed her back down in a new location, the sound of her arm snapping echoed throughout the room. He slapped her cruelly, splitting her lip open, and blood gushed into her mouth. "At least you've made it easy, I suppose," he scoffed. "Took all the difficulty out of it, didn't you? Practically incapacitated yourself, _and_ undressed."

Flailing her arms and legs, in a vain attempt to escape, Jane gulped for air, as he positioned himself above her, holding her hips in a bruising grip. "Don't, please," she begged, forcing the words from her lips, between hitching breaths, hot tears spilling from her eyes.

Her body arched off the floor and he muffled her scream with a demanding kiss as he drove himself within her in a single merciless thrust.

It was within this moment; Severus Snape forced the door to the Prefect Bathroom open. He stood in shock for a moment before Derrick's heartless brown eyes shot up to him at the sound of the door banging against the wall. Severus' initial thought was simple: disgust at the fact that yet another couple had claimed the Prefect's Bath as the perfect late day trysting spot. It took a moment before he recognized the familiar face and Severus blinked, connecting him with LilyDerrick winked at him, nodding his head toward the door.

Severus got the message and quickly whipped around, intent on leaving the bathroom, Derrick's attention leaving him before the blush on his cheeks was visible. As he turned, however, Jane gave a cry and he paused, she didn't sound like Lily. His ebony eyes searched for recognition as he realized the girl in the party was not Lily Evans.

His heart stopped as he identified her. "Walker," he said silently, his mind racing. _Lily's supposed 'best friend' is screwing her boyfriend_. It was with a swell of guilt and gratitude that Severus stored the information. He was going to be back in Lily's good graces before the day was up, and Derrick, along with his little plaything, would be out of the picture. If he were lucky, Lily would ditch Potter as well, because he was sure to know of this. Walker didn't keep secrets from Potter.

And then, the blood mixing in the water on the floor and staining Jane's blonde curls registered. Severus was sure if he hadn't had such a strong stomach, he would have lost his dinner. Derrick Hollister was raping Lily's best friend, and _he_ was watching.

Without thought of what curse would be best, Severus slashed his wand like a whip, sending Derrick into a crumpled heap against the wall. He paused shortly, before slowly striding to the unmoving girl on the floor.

"Walker," he said gruffly, kneeling down beside her, smoothing her hair from her face. She didn't move. She didn't answer.

Summoning a bathrobe, he draped it around her, before lifting her into his lap, softly asking, "Walker, are you okay?"

Jane whimpered, weakly clutching at his shirt as she said, "That's a fucked up question."

He chuckled, still cradling her in his arms as he stood. Transfiguring another article of her clothing into a chair, he gently placed her on it, kneeling in front of her, and holding her face in his hands, he assessed her injuries. "I think we best get you to Madam Pomfrey, I'm not skilled enough to take care of this," he told her quietly. "Are you alright with that?"

Gazing at him confusedly, watching his image blur and swirl, mixing with an odd array of colors, Jane murmured, "Stop spinning, please, you're going to make me–" she vomited, slumping forward, unconscious.

"Charming, Walker," he muttered sarcastically, vanishing the mess with his wand. He carefully lifted her up, nestling her head against his shoulder, before casting a simple charm to disguise exactly who she was. It wouldn't do for the entire student body to find out about this.

No, Severus Snape only wanted one student to know of this, and his role in it, in hopes that it would lead to regaining her friendship. And that student happened to be running up the Gryffindor girl's staircase adamantly cursing James Potter's addicting lips.

O

"What the hell did you do to her?" Remus laughed as James stumbled into the common room scratching his head.

James looked up at him, his face scrunched up in puzzlement. "I don't know. We were talking and then I kissed her." He frowned and stared down at his shoes. "She kissed me back and we were kissing. Then she ran from the room screaming something about hell freezing over."

"Well, you've managed to make the first meeting of the year interesting, at least." Remus chuckled leaning back against the couch. Sirius was staring blankly at James, his mouth hanging open.

"Padfoot, man, are you alright?" James asked before muttering, "I am the one who should be stuck in mystified awe, not you."

Sirius' grey eyes blinked slowly. "Did you just say Evans and you were kissing? As in, both of you were participating?" He pointed at James, then toward the girl's dormitory stairs. The very same staircase Lily had ran up moments ago stuttering and red-cheeked.

James nodded, smilingly dazedly. "Yeah, it was so effing brilliant. You remember Hannah Rivers?" Sirius smirked; she was the only bird who ever received a ten on both his and James' kissing scale. "She just got dropped down to a four."

"No way," Sirius breathed. "You're shitting me."

Dropping down into and armchair, James shook his head. "Nope, I swear, it was like… angels, Padfoot. Like she has to be an angel."

Bursting out into a fit of laughter, Sirius gripped his sides, earning himself an angry scowl from James. "Prongs, man, you are so delusional," Sirius choked out between roars of laughter.

Peter's head popped up out the sound. "Wha'd I miss?" he muttered groggily, rubbing his eyes.

"Lily and James snogging," Remus yawned. Peter blinked away his surprise.

"As in they were both participating?" Peter asked and James glared at him.

"Yes! Lily and I _snogged!_ Why is that so hard to believe?" James shouted. "Where's Janie? She'd believe me."

Remus shrugged. "Taking a bath," he answered simply before looking at his watch. "Actually, she should be back by now. It's been hours."

Sirius wrinkled his forehead in a frown, blowing his hair out of his eyes. "Did she sneak back in or something?"

Rolling his eyes, James stood up. "I suppose I'll go get the map, then." He slowly trudged up the boy's staircase only to come running back down, a look of horror spread across his face.

"She's in the fucking Hospital Wing!" he exclaimed. All four boys bolted out of the room, practically trampling a few first years in their haste.

* * *


	10. Chapter 10

Funnyface

Chapter 10

_Waiting_

"_Dead._" The word rang in her ears and she felt the world give way beneath her feat. "_Dead._" Strong arms wrapped around her shoulders, holding her up when her legs seemed unable to manage the task any longer. "_Dead._"

"Jane?" a voice asked, the hoarse sound of it wavering in the middle. She didn't recognize it. Strange, she knew everyone there. "Jane? Are you okay?" When she failed to respond, the arms around her slackened, gently guiding her to another location.

Startlingly fathomless grey eyes hovered in front of her own, while large warm hands held her cheeks, the fingers losing themselves in her messy curls. "Janie," Sirius whispered quietly. "You didn't do anything wrong, okay? Whatever's going on out there," his eyes flicked to the white curtains encompassing them; gesturing to conversation they had accidentally overheard, "isn't your fault."

Tears pooled in her eyes, spilling down her cheeks as she gave a frightened bob of her head. "Sirius," she cried softly, "I don't want to have killed him."

"Shush," he hushed, letting her wind her arms around his neck and hugging her closely. "Janie, you didn't kill him. And if he really is dead, Jay, it's more peace than he deserves." There was an icy edge to his voice that, despite his best efforts, still escaped, dancing in the air with harsh sincerity. She gave an unsure nod of her head, nuzzling her tearstained face into his neck.

He held her for a long while, letting her cry and stain his shirt with tears, until a firm hand grasped his shoulder. "Padfoot," James said quietly, and Sirius glanced up at him, taking in his weary appearance. "Madam Pomfrey said to give her this. It's a dreamless sleep." His voice was still hoarse and strangled, and Sirius only paused for a moment to wonder when James had fallen, leaving him to be the strong one.

Taking the goblet from James' outstretched hand, he coaxed Jane to an upright position. Jane's red, puffy eyes fell on his face; she looked almost surprised, as if she thought someone else had been holding her as she cried. He tucked her hair behind her ear, his palm brushing against her cheek as he smiled weakly. "Hey, Jaybird. No more tears, huh?" he almost cooed.

It took less than a minute for Jane to fall into a peaceful, dreamless sleep, tucked away under the white sheets of the hospital bed. Sirius groaned slightly, his knees protesting against him as he stood. Kneeling on the hard stone floor was a sure-fire way to cause anyone's knees to revolt. "Did you guys hear anything else? It's not really easy to eavesdrop when Janie's blubbering in your ear," he asked, attempting to lighten the situation, if only a fraction.

Remus graced him with a faint smile in response to his efforts, however awkward it looked on his haggard and weary face. "Yeah," he answered, his voice cracking, "it's not looking great."

Peter piped up from the corner, his grim expression not lost on his fellows. "From the sounds of things, Snape, the slimy bastard, is trying to pin it on her." A sound like a snarl escaped Peter's lips. "As if she hasn't been through enough, now he's trying to add murder to the bill."

"Wormtail," James admonished, "as far as we know, Snape could be telling the truth. And let's just be blatantly honest here, he fucking saved her life, all right. Slimy bastard or not, we've got to give him that."

The boys exchanged dark looks from there respective corners in the tiny curtained area around Jane's bed. Sirius' silence from his location propped up against the bedside table, idly stroking Jane's hair, saying more than any words ever could. Remus responded with an agreeing nod, his eyes betraying his displeasure at the situation. Peter frowned more deeply than ever, clenching his hands at his sides.

James released a grave sigh, running his hand through his hair. "I'll go talk to Uncle Ted, and see how things are going out there."

Remus stood as James made to leave. "Someone needs to tell Lily what's going on," he informed James and his questioning glance. "I assume you don't want that job."

"Thanks, Moony," James said, and the two left the little white curtained sanctuary.

Minutes passed in silence, Sirius intently watching Jane sleep as if studying her for signs of nightmares, Peter observing Sirius' actions with entranced attention. As far as Peter knew, Sirius didn't stare at anything that intensely.

Finally, Sirius' grey eyes slowly pulled away from Jane's sleeping form, and stared into the watery blue depths of Peter's. "I've never seen him break down like that," he rasped out, before clearing his throat. "I mean, I know he gets upset when she gets hurt, but I've never seen him take anything that hard. I thought for a moment that he was going to collapse."

Peter glanced down at Jane. "Can't pretend seeing her like that – walking in on that, didn't make me light-headed," he replied. "I thought she was dead."

Shaking his head, Sirius carefully sat down on the edge of the bed, taking Jane's small hand in his own. "No," he said shortly. "She's not dead." Peter stared up at his friend, nodding, though he wasn't sure he understood the cold conviction held in Sirius' voice.

O

"Remus?" Lily gasped rushing to him as his pale faced form walked into the Gryffindor common room, long after it had cleared for the night. "What's wrong? What happened? I can't find Jane!" she said all at once.

Remus just wrapped his arms around her tightly, almost crushing her against his chest. "She's alright, Lily. She's alright."

Without understanding, Lily clung to Remus forcing back her tears. "What do you mean, Lupin?" she demanded harshly, panic getting the best of her. He wasn't handling this situation well, he knew that, but he just needed to hold someone, to have someone holding him.

"I mean she's okay, Lily," he choked. "I mean I didn't think she was going to be." He felt her slump against him as the words left his mouth.

"What happened?" she asked weakly.

Swallowing a breath of air, he pulled away from her. "You should probably sit down." He gestured to a chair and followed, taking the seat opposite her. She gazed at him, anxiety clearly written in her vivid green eyes.

"Jane was–" he struggled with the word, his mind flashing back to the naked, bloody image of Jane laying in the hospital bed, and the look on James' face, the way he just died at the sight of her. "Raped," he managed to say. Lily paled dramatically, swaying as she tried to stand. Placing a soothing hand on her leg, Remus shook his head. "It gets worse, Lily."

Lily's eyes welled with tears. "It was Hollister." She choked back a sob, frantically shaking her head. "He's dead, Lily."

She gasped, the steel in his voice making her shiver. "Y-you?" she stuttered. At his negative response, she said, "Jam–"

"No, not James."

"Jane?" she whispered with a shudder. "No, not Ja–"

Remus glanced away from her. "We don't know, Lily. The Ministry is here looking into things." He stood up slowly. "Poppy isn't going to let us stay there long, so if you want to see her…" Letting his voice trail off, he started toward the door.

"Remus," she called, rising to follow him. "I'm sorry," she cried, "I should have–" her words were lost in a fit of sobs and Remus gently wrapped her in his arms.

"It's not your fault, Lily. It's not your fault."

O

"Walker?" Severus Snape whispered silkily, giving Jane a soft poke in the arm. "Walker, wake up. I need to talk to you."

Jane groaned in her sleep. "Sirius, go away. We'll paint the chicken in the morning."

A confused frown worked its way onto Snape's face. _Paint the chicken?_ "Walker," he said again, prodding her a bit more forcefully.

His efforts were not in vain, as she stirred, turning in her bed and opening her eyes. "Snape?" she asked disbelievingly.

"I killed him," he said shortly, and watching impatiently as the words seeped into Jane's sleep drugged brain.

Her eyes widened and she sat up hastily. "Then why didn't you tell the Ministry that?" she hissed. "Do you realize wha–"

"Shut it, Walker," Snape snapped. "Here's the deal. If you take the blame, they do nothing. It was self-defense, wandless magic. You're an Auror's daughter. They won't do shit." His dark eyes glittered in the moonlight, fixing her with a cold stare. "I tell them I did it – me, a disgraced half-blood child – I'll end up in Azkaban."

"You killed him," stated Jane. "I can't – I can't _lie_ and tell them I did it. I can't take the blame for _your_ murder." She shook her head, making the room spin before her eyes. "You can't seriously ask that of me."

Scowling, he hissed, "No? But you can ask to me murder _for_ you."

"I didn't ask you to do anything!" said Jane in outrage.

"So," he asked, "you'd have preferred I turned around and left?"

Jane froze, eyes welling with tears. "No," she gulped.

"I saved your fucking worthless life, Walker. I have to live with knowing I _killed_ someone because of you. Are you really going to make me–"

His words cut off as a hand appeared from thin air, wrapping its fingers around his throat, forcing him to gasp for air. As Snape struggled, a silvery cloak slipped to the floor revealing Sirius Black. "I think you've said enough, Snape," he growled, releasing Snape and watching him stumble backwards. "You're lucky it's my watch," he said coldly, "her father would have killed you, outright."

Snape rubbed at his neck, scowling at Sirius, his eyes glinting menacingly. "Fuck off, Black, this has nothing to do with you."

Raising a brow coolly, Sirius released a dry laugh. "Anything that involves _my family_ has to deal with me, Snape." Jane whispered something behind him, but he ignored it. "I've lots to hold against you, lots of reasons to end your miserable existence right now, but you've proved to actually have _a_ redeeming quality. So, _here's the deal_: I have three things to say to you." He ticked them off his fingers as he spoke, drawing threateningly closer to Snape as he did so. "One: Thank you for your honorable acts today, Severus. Two: You're beyond _fucking stupid_ to think you can convince her to take the blame for your decisions. Hell yes, I'm glad you killed the motherfucker, actually," he grasped Snape's hand, shaking it firmly. "Congratulations on beating me to the punch. But it was _your_ decision; her situation had nothing to do with the curse you picked. I know you have a cornucopia of curses that are far nastier, but leave the bastards alive, at your disposal. You should have picked one of them if you didn't want to face these consequences." Sirius glared angrily at the other boy, pulling out his wand. "And three: Get your despicable, slimy ass out of here before I _drag_ you out."

Snape scowled once more, eyeing the red sparks lighting up Sirius' wand, before whipping around on his heel and disappearing from the hospital wing.

A tired sigh slipped through Sirius' lips as he ran his hand through his black hair, before turning to Jane. She was gazing up at him, quite petrified at the whole situation, her bruised arms covered in gooseflesh, and her chin quivering. "I'm sorry, Janie. You didn't need that."

"He's rig–"

"No," Sirius interjected. "No, Jane. He is _not_ right. You are not responsible for any of this. What happened in that room was a fucked up incident, and you were the victim."

"But, he–" Sirius shook his head and she nodded.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, he moved to tuck a stray curl behind her ear. Jane jerked away from his touch, panic flashing in her eyes. "Janie?" he whispered tentatively, immediately dropping his hand.

Jane glanced up at him worriedly. "I didn't mean to do that," she said in a mix of apology and confused fear.

"I didn't think you did," he replied, slowly returning his hand to her cheek, observing her carefully as she fought the urge to shy away. "You're okay, Jane," he whispered softly as her eyes fluttered closed and she leaned into his caress. "You're okay," he repeated, not sure if it was for her benefit or his.

O

Like all mornings after hellish nights, the sun rose, peeking above the treetops and lighting up the world with its rays. The warmth of them danced on Jane's cheek as soft snores pulled her from the last dregs of sleeps comforting depths. She opened her eyes to find a familiar worn face watching her sleep with mild contentment.

"Daddy," she yawned, smiling faintly as she snuggled back into the warm body that was holding her possessively in its arms.

Ted Walker smiled. "So, early this morning I came in to relieve Mr. Black of his duties and return to watching you sleep under James' cloak, as that horrible little witch was quite convinced that my fatherly need to watch over you would only prevent you from getting the rest you needed. Imagine my surprise when instead of finding him passed out in the chair by your bed where I left him, I found him _in_ yourbed." He paused appreciating the tiny grin on Jane's lips. "He seemed quite cozy as well," mused Ted to himself, before folding his hands under his chin and fixing Jane with a mock scolding look. "Is there something I should know?" he asked.

Jane laughed slightly, shaking her head. "No," she answered. "I just woke up and…" Pausing to find the right words, she shrugged. "I was scared."

"Ah," Ted sighed. "Well then, I suppose I can't hold it against the boy." He harrumphed. "Damn, I do like threatening their favorite bits of anatomy so." He gave her a grin, telling himself normalcy was the best thing for her.

They sat in comfortable silence for a while, listening to Sirius' faint snores. Finally, Jane sat up, letting her feet dangle from the bed. Sirius fought to keep her close in his sleep, rolling to his stomach and keeping an arm wrapped around her loosely. "I overheard your conversation last night," she admitted. "I didn't kill him, Daddy. I didn't even – I wasn't even really conscious at that point."

"I know, Anna love," Ted answered softly. "I talked to a Mr. uh, Snape?" At Jane's nod he continued. "Last night, or well, this morning really. He's told us everything, so you've nothing to worry about."

"Oh," Jane intoned.

Silence stretched on again for a moment, it wasn't tense or nervous, just simply the silence of just waking, before Ted took it upon himself to break it. "How are you, love? Alright?"

"I'm okay," breathed Jane. "I'm mean, I'm going to be. Shit happens, Daddy, and I–" Tears pooled in her eyes and she sniffled. "And I didn't want to cry in front of you."

Ted chuckled at her standing up and wrapping her in a hug, she liked crying in front of him, in front of anyone. "It's okay, love. Tears are healthy."

Once she settle he sat back down and he raised a questioning blond eyebrow. "And physically? You're okay? I mean, would like me to get Pomfrey for some pain-killers or something?"

"No, I'm good," she replied. "I've a bit of a headache, but I doubt I'll stay awake much longer, so sleep will fix that." He nodded and returned to watching her snuggle back into bed, much to the sleeping Sirius' delight.

"Dad?" she queried after a moment, "have you seen Lily?"

Ted nodded, smiling vaguely. "Yeah, she came in not too long after you fell asleep last night. She's all right. A little heartbroken. A little confused. Quite pissed it took James a good two hours to inform her of the situation."

Jane chuckled. "That doesn't surprise me. No matter what the problem is, it's always James' fault."

O

Severus Snape sat out on the North Tower balcony, staring down at the green grass below, wondering what it would be like to fall, or maybe jump. He was drawn away from his thoughts, however, when a soft voice whispered, "Mischief managed," behind him. Slowly, he turned around to find himself staring into the face of Jane Walker.

Her eyes had faint remains of dark circles, and her left arm was still bandaged, but overall, he supposed she looked quite well. It had been two weeks since he had last seen her, and she was much improved from bedridden and trembling. "Walker," he greeted before returning to contemplating taking the dive.

"I always used to wonder what it'd be like to jump from a height like this," said Jane taking a seat next to him on the ledge. "Last year, though, my dad, Sarah and I went cliff diving. It was so thrilling. Now I know what it's like, and it's even more tempting." Laughing to herself she added, "Sort of grim, but it'd be the greatest way to die. That great thrill, wind rushing through your hair, and then peace. Just like that. Just like life, excitement, thrill, a bit of agony and you're gone."

"Poetic," Snape retorted dryly and they lapsed into silence.

"Look," breathed Jane, placing a book in his lap. "Don't disappoint me, alright?"

He gave her a queer look, but she just shrugged, standing up and leaving the tower. Once she was gone, he opened the little paperback book and on the first page, her untidy scrawl was found. _Third floor. Second door on the left of muggle painting. She's already waiting._

Severus Snape smiled and quickly stood, striding from the balcony.

Lily Evans was waiting.

* * *

_Thank you for reading, and if you have any questions at all, feel free to ask. There probably won't be any more updates until after Thanksgiving. My grandma just had surgery and I'm now an offical 'Thanksgiving helper.' Not quite sure what that means, but it involves a lot of cleaning, cooking, and not much writing time. Just thought I would let you know._ :-)

_By the way, I thought I'd ask, how would you feel if I up-ed the rating to Mature? _


	11. Chapter 11

Funnyface

Chapter 11

_Ranting_

Severus Snape was caught off guard by the sight that greeted him as he entered the small room on the third floor; something told him Walker hadn't informed Lily of his imminent arrival. In fact, he doubted she told her anything at all.

Curled up on the faded paisley sofa near the stone fireplace was the weeping figure of Lily Evans. A glass of what Severus knew as Lily's liquid trouble chaser sat precariously on the arm of the couch, as Lily sniffled and wiped away her tears on a tattered handkerchief. Severus sighed quietly and stepped into the room, gently closing the door behind him.

"Jane," murmured Lily, "I really don't want to talk." She refused to look up at the person who entered the room as she struggled to clear away the evidence of her tears.

With a solemn exhalation of air, Severus strode further into the room, carefully sitting at the empty space near Lily's feet. "Lily," he breathed. "I know…" Pausing, he gazed into the dancing flames. "I know I don't deserve forgiveness, but I would at least like to extend my sincerest regret and…" He struggled over the next word, "a-apologies for your loss."

Still unable to look at her, he sighed and placed his head in his hands, holding his gaze on the flames. "And yes, I am still a 'hypocritical bastard' to use your words, but I still…I miss you, Lily. Terribly. I cannot ask forgiveness for something I am not sorry for, but…I _am_, sorry for what I said to you, about you. You know, I never… I've never thought you in-inferior to me. You're special, Lily." Taking a deep breath, he stood and bowed his head, obscuring his face from view, and he started for the door. "I hope you know that," he whispered as he reached for the knob.

"You bastard!" screeched Lily as her glass shattered against his back. "How _dare_ you!"

Severus turned to face her slowly, his dark eyes wide with shock, his mouth agape. Her red curls spiraled messily around her, seemingly with a life of their own, as her eyes flashed in rage and heartbreak. She threw a book at him that whacked him solidly in the chest. "How dare you!" she screeched again. "You come here with some, some _fucked_ apology! About how…how I'm supposedly _not_ dirty in your eyes? You despise people like me, Severus! Despise them! I _loved _you. You were my _best friend!_ And, and–" Her voice quavered as angry and hurt tears streamed down her flushed cheeks. "And you're _sorry_ you murdered my boyfriend! _Sorry_, Severus? You're _sorry_ you saved Janie's life? _How the fuck can you be sorry about that_?" Gripping her hair in her fists, she shrieked in anguish. "Please, Severus, explain it to me." Roughly wiping away her tears, she sniffed. "Please, tell me how you can manage to be _sorry_ that he's dead, when I wish I was the one who killed him."

She collapsed then, her entire body crumbling to the floor in hysterical sobs, and Severus stood petrified. In all the years he had known Lily Evans, she had never broken down, never fell into heartrending tears, never made his gut clench in worry. And there she was, crumpled on the floor, her tangled red hair falling around her back and shoulders like wine spilling from a broken bottle.

Before he realized his feet were moving Severus found himself kneeling beside her, gently coaxing her into his arms. It was amazing, the way she simply let him take her in his arms, slowly stroke her hair and whisper that everything would be well, but then again they were old friends, they had always been.

O

"Hey, Janie," greeted Sirius Black lightly as Jane entered the Gryffindor common room and dropped to the empty space on the sofa between him and Remus Lupin. He moved to drape his arm around her shoulders, but ceased suddenly as his brow wrinkled in worry.

Jane laughed softly. "You don't have to think twice, Sirius. It's not like I can really do too much damage if I flip. I mean, you're three times bigger than me." Sirius chuckled nervously and let his arm settle around her shoulders. "See?" she queried, "I'm much better already ready. Not even a hint of panic."

"Sorry Jay, I just…" mumbled Sirius and Jane shook her head, placing a quick kiss on his hand before snuggling under his arm, her head resting on his chest.

"Don't worry 'bout it," she replied with a shrug. "I'd worry too; I've already backhanded you once this week."

A rumble of laughter escaped the previously silent Remus beside them as he snapped his book closed, and shifted a bit to see her face. "I'm beginning to wonder if that was more than just a reflex. You _were_ smirking at the time." Jane grinned and blushed.

Sirius gave an undignified squawk at her response and glared down at her messy mop of hair. "You did that on _purpose_!" he said aghast before dropping his hand to her waist and tickling her mercilessly. "I can't believe you!"

A loud squeak of laughter escaped Jane's lips and she struggled and squirmed in his grasp, while Remus watched grinningly. "You little– little– well, I don't know what you are, but you're surely a _small_ whatever it is!" shouted Sirius as he continued to tickle her and she screeched with laughter, begging forgiveness.

"Fine," he muttered after a long while and halted his assault. He had to bite back his smile at the dancing light in her eyes as she sat back up and smiled coquettishly at him.

"I'm sorry, Padfoot," she pouted, glancing up at him from the corners of her eyes. Sirius chuckled and placed a chaste kiss on her cheek.

"You're lucky you've got me wrapped, kiddo," he told her, shoving her a bit toward Remus. "Anyone else would have had a much worse revenge."

Snuggling against Remus, Jane stuck her tongue out at Sirius childishly and Remus laughed, smoothing down her hair to prevent it from tickling his nose. Sirius crossed his arms and pouted petulantly.

After a moment, once Remus submerged back into the pages of his book of horror, Jane nudged Sirius with her toe and he flashed a grin. She winked at him and pointed to Remus slyly. Sirius responded with a fervent nod.

Jane held up three fingers and slowly started the countdown. As she reached three, she sprung forward nabbing Remus' book from his hands and diving behind Sirius as he cast a tickling charm. Remus fell to the floor gripping his sides with laughter, begging his friends to stop.

Jane peeked under Sirius' elbow and watched Remus wriggle with chuckles on the floor. "So, my dear Mr. Black," she said cordially. "What _are_ we going to ask of our lovely Mr. Lupin for his freedom?"

Sirius laughed once and hooked his arm around Jane's neck, smiling mischievously at the hysterical Remus before them. "I say we make him dress as a Christmas elf for the day."

"Smashing, Mr. Black," replied Jane, standing on her toes and barley managing to kiss his chin. "An elf it is. With tights, of course?"

"Of course," answered Sirius. "What do you say Mr. Moony, do we have a deal?"

Remus groaned through his laughter and shook his head.

"Best up the ante, Ms. Walker," said Sirius with a grin as Jane pulled her wand from her sleeve.

O

Lily sniffled, wiping her nose on her hanky and swirling her glass of bourbon in her hand. "I'm drunk," she told Severus, gazing up at him with pain-filled green eyes.

"Yes, I know," replied Severus, sipping his own drink. "I believe the only time I saw you this pissed was after your grandmother's funeral."

Laughing sadly, Lily nodded and clumsily held up three fingers. "Three times, have I ever been this pissed, including today. It shan't happen again."

"Somehow," said Severus dryly, "I doubt that."

Smiling, Lily sighed heavily and gazed into the fire. "I loved him, Sev, I really think I did." She took a sip of her drink and shook her head. "I knew he was a right bastard. Everyone did. But, I seem to have a thing for bastards." Sighing, her green eyes flicked back to him. "I mean, I like you. You're an effing bastard and I…I downright adore you, sometimes." Glancing away from him, she shrugged. "More so when we were younger, before politics got in the way."

Severus stared at her as she watched her liquor whirlpool in her glass. "I didn't mean to let that happen, Lily," he whispered.

"I know," she said simply. "But it was foolish of us to think that it wouldn't." She placed her glass on her knee and looked up at him. "I think," she chuckled disbelievingly. "I think I've got a thing for Potter."

At his shocked and paled expression, she turned away from him. "This isn't going to work, is it, Severus?" she asked.

"What do you mean?" he questioned, his voice wavering.

"I mean," she sighed, "you can't appreciate or even _accept_ my decisions." Gazing into his ebony eyes, she begged him to like more than just the idea of her. "Severus, Jane hated Derrick. From day one, she hated him and so did her friends, but she tolerated him for me. Pretending to be friendly with him in my presence. You can't even look at me when I mention being acquainted with Potter. With any of my other friends."

Severus closed his eyes. "Lily, I love you, but I…" His calm demeanor fled him. "Potter's a bastard!"

"Yes, and so are you," retorted Lily. "We just discussed my attraction to them."

"I can't see how you can waste your time on such…such…imbeciles! Potter, Black, Lupin, Pettigrew!" he spat each of their names in disgust. "And Walker, their little whore."

Lily splashed the rest of her drink in his face and titled her chin defiantly. "Have you ever bothered to _look_ at the people you hate so, Sev?" Gazing at him calmly, she asked again, "Have you?" He didn't respond, just simply stared at her with the harsh liquor dripping down his large hooked nose.

"Well, let me explain to you the people you hate, Severus. _James_," she stressed the use of his first name, "is a passionate, egotistical, and _caring_ person. _Passionate_, Severus. Have you ever been passionate about something? Because, my god, that boy is passionate about everything: his friends, his family, sports, _life_." Her brows furrowed as she pleaded with no one, "I _wish_ I could care that deeply about something, _anything_." Forcefully brushing her hair from her eyes, she exhaled sharply. "He is _flawed_, Severus. _Flawed_, just like you, just like me, and he is all the better for it."

"Black was next, right?" She didn't wait for him to respond. "I don't understand your dislike for him, Sev. He's pureblooded, cocky, angered, and rich. God, he is the spitting image of your other little playmates."

Pausing for dramatics, she grinned darkly. "Oh, I get it. He likes _Mudbloods_," she said coldly. "He was _disowned_ from his family of muggle haters and hypocrites and he swears them off just as much as they do him. That's it, isn't it, Sev? He disowned what you can't have, threw it away." Slinging her hair over her shoulder, she smiled. "Well, guess what Severus, I think what he's done is the noblest, most honorable, _amazing_ thing I've ever seen someone our age do. That's right. I admire the smarmy bastard. He's done _for himself_ what you aren't capable of doing for your _best_ _friend_." Tears welled in her eyes, and she quickly forced them away. "And you don't even have anything to lose. Do you know what he's sacrificed?" He didn't answer.

She sniffed and raised her head. "Well, Sev, think of what you want most in this world and you'll have a pretty good idea of it."

"Lily," he started to interrupt and she shook her head.

"No," she demanded, "hear me out, Severus. I listened to your bullshit on the five of them for years. Let me fill you in on the details you've missed, because by God, I deserve the chance to speak. And, you know what, until you learn to respect me, and my decisions this friendship _can't_ happen. So, if you don't want me, just get up and leave. If you do, keep your trap shut."

He didn't stir.

"Remus Lupin," said Lily softly. "I honestly, have no _idea_ what you could possibly have against him, other than his illness, which I am not willingly to discuss with anyone but him. So, whatever you have against that brave, loyal, beautiful soul, forget it, because he is one of God's more wonderful creations."

The words, '_he's a fucking werewolf_,' almost left Severus' lips, but he denied himself the right.

"And sweet little Peter," she whispered fondly. "He's so…sweet. Clumsy, caring, shy, stuttering. He's adorable. And so…he _loves_ people. Everyone. I don't think there is one soul on this earth Peter could dislike. People don't give him a chance, just because he's a bit slower than most."

Her ire rose again as her thoughts swirled back around to Jane. She slapped him. "And _how dare _you call Jane a whore!" Severus grabbed her wrist as she moved to slap him again. "Do you know!" she shouted as he pulled her face to face with him. "Do you know that she has never _once_ spoken ill of you? Do you know that James and Sirius aren't allowed to 'Snape bash' in her presence? Did you know that the day I called you every name under the sun, and was forced to end our friendship she _defended _you? Did you know that everyday since she got out of the hospital wing that she asks about you? How you are doing? How you're coping?"

Their noses touched as green eyes battled with ebony ones, and Severus wished he had the nerve to kiss her, if only to silence her. He didn't.

"Guess what, Severus? You watched her lose her virginity," whispered Lily as her tears finally gave way and Severus released her, his shock almost consuming him. "So go ahead. Call her a whore. Call the only person besides me that gives a _damn_ about you a whore."

With heaving breaths, Lily slumped back to the sofa and they sat in silence.

Seconds ticked by and slowly turned to minutes and the minutes collected into hours before either spoke. "You're right, Lily," whispered Severus. "You're right. I had no right to dislike your friends." As much as it pained him to say it, he knew it was the only way to have her in his life again. Just like listening to her rant, she wouldn't have him if he didn't.

"I have no right to place you on a pedestal. I've no right to do it, Lily, but I can't help myself." He carefully took her hand in his and traced her lifeline with a finger before gazing into her crushed clover eyes. "I don't like not having your company, not seeing you smile. If you are willing to overlook my flaws, as you do with others, I am willing to keep my bastard-ish–" They both chuckled at the contrived word. " –opinions to myself and let you choose your own course. I miss having you in my life, Lily. You're my best friend." He pleaded with her. He just wanted her. She meant so much to him. He loved her.

Lily smiled sadly. She missed him. She wanted his friendship. There would never be another snarky bastard like Severus Snape.

"I'll try to keep my raging desire for Potter out of conversation," she offered jokingly and Severus smiled.

"You don't have a raging desire for Potter," he informed her lightly before shifting the conversation elsewhere.

O

"Alright, Pete," whispered James Potter to his plump accomplice as the slowly left the Great Hall under James' invisibility cloak. "Now, all we've to do is snap this line at dinner, and boom! The entirety of the Slytherins will be itching like Padfoot when he has fleas tonight."

Peter grinned widely. "This has gotta be one of the least elaborate schemes we've ever managed, Prongs."

"I know, Wormtail." James smirked. "That's why it's so brilliant." Shrugging, James said, "I mean it took us what? Thirty minutes tops? And we even had to make a trip to Zonko's for the powder. That beats the record, I'm sure. Pads can't even charm all the suits of armor to recite dirty limericks in that time frame."

Nodding happily, Peter slammed James on the back. "It's good to defeat the undefeated."

"Too right, you are, Mr. Wormtail," replied James, grinning slyly. "I can wait 'til we tell him."

Peter tittered. "He's gunna be so pissed."

Agreeing, James said mischievously, "Can't wait to see what he'll pull to top us, though."

Peter's grinned widened. "Me either."


	12. Chapter 12

Funnyface

Chapter 12

_You Buffoon_

The faint twinkling light of the midnight stars cast a dancing light into the darkened dormitory as three marauders slept soundly in their beds, the fourth of the group of friendly misfits drawing circles on the Quidditch pitch as he thrashed out his conflicting thoughts on his Gryffindor girls.

A quiet stumbling on the staircase roused the sleeping Sirius Black and he sat up staring blurry-eyed at the door, his wand oddly aimed at it in defense.

"Janie," sighed Sirius, letting his wand arm fall to his lap as the rumpled form of Jane Walker slipped into the room. "You scared me. What are you doing out of bed?" He observed as her shoulders rose in a shrug before she wrapped her arms around herself, a faint trail of tears barely visible in the dim light. His eyes fell closed for half a moment before he shifted in his bed, making enough room for another body, and held the blankets open. "Come on, Jay. It's cold." She stood still for a long moment, her eyes lingering on the empty bed across the room.

Sirius watched her solemnly before softly saying, "He's on the pitch, Jay. Come on, you can talk to me about it." He didn't know what else to do. James had been her safety net for years, at least when they were in school. Her nightmares, her troubles, her fears – James had always taken care of them. Talked to her when she needed to talk, held her when she cried, watched her sleep when dreams threatened her sanity. Sirius was just a bystander, just an observer. Now, he seemed to be playing James' role and he didn't have a clue of what to do.

"Janie," he whispered, and her eyes flicked to him. Hesitantly, she took a step forward, tears pooling in her eyes. As she crawled into the bed beside him, Sirius tugged the blankets over her, careful not to touch her more than needed to ensure she was warm.

They sat in silence, Jane staring at the foot of Sirius' four-poster, Sirius staring at Jane, for a long time before Jane spoke. "He doesn't look at me the same way anymore," she whispered, her voice full of tears.

Sirius gazed at her confusedly. "Who, Jay?" he asked.

"James," sniffed Jane. "It's like I'm…I'm," she sobbed. "Like I'm dirty or something."

"Oh, no, Janie," denied Sirius. "He's just scared. He doesn't know what to say."

Jane turned to face him, staring directly into his eyes. "I didn't do it," she cried softly. "I didn't do anything." She closed her eyes, tears sliding down her cheeks and Sirius paled, he hated seeing her cry. "He blames me and I didn't do anything."

Wrapping his arms around her, Sirius pressed his lips to her hair. "No, he doesn't. He knows it wasn't your fault."

As she wept against his bare chest, Sirius held her closely, stroking her hair and trying to quash his inappropriate thoughts. Now wasn't the time to realize she wasn't wearing a bra, now wasn't the time to admit his fondness for the scent of her shampoo, now wasn't the time to kiss her. He did anyway.

He pressed tiny, affectionate kisses above her brows, holding her face in his hands as he slowly worked his way down, kissing her eyes, tasting her salty tears on her cheeks. Jane didn't give him any sign to make him stop, her fingers simply curled in the blankets, and so he continued.

Her lips were parted as he lightly pressed his against them and he felt her shiver. Resting his cheek against hers, he inhaled sharply, silently cursing himself. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."

Jane shook her head, wrapping her arms around his waist and crawling into his lap, her face buried in his neck. "No," she whispered and Sirius stilled. No, he shouldn't have or no, he shouldn't be sorry? Sirius wasn't sure.

Tightening his arms around her, he slowly rubbed her back with one hand, the other entangling in her curls. He felt he mumble something against his skin and he moved his hand to her shoulders, tilted her back just a bit. "What?" he murmured, mostly reading her lips, as her voice was so faint.

"It doesn't hurt," she repeated. "It hurt so much, like he was burning me."

Sirius didn't know how to respond to that, so he just stared at her. "I'm so sorry, Jane. If I could, I'd do anything to change it."

Shaking her head, Jane laid her head back on his shoulder. "No, these things happen for a reason. If we changed something, something worse would take its place. The world might even fall off its axis." He didn't tell her he thought that a better fate than seeing her cry.

O

Sitting a few seats away from the Marauders, Lily watched Jane walk into the Great Hall smiling brightly and drop into the seat beside Sirius, grabbing his freshly buttered toast on her way down. "Hey!" he shouted as she shoved it into her mouth, smiling innocently. Turning back to her book and scrambled eggs, Lily sighed contentedly.

She had been afraid after last night, when Jane had disappeared, that they were traveling backwards again. That seemed to keep happening, Jane would be fine for a while and then suddenly everything would come crumbling down. However, maybe this time it would be different, maybe this time she'd be fine for good.

"Lily!" Jane yelled loudly.

Lily's head popped up from her book and she smiled broadly at Jane. "What?"

"What are you doing over there? There is an empty spot by James." Lily shook her head and quickly turned back to her book, trying to prevent anyone from seeing the blush spreading across her cheeks. So far, she had managed to place enough distance between herself and James to clear her mind. Spending her spare time with Severus rather than Jane and the Marauders, much to Jane's displeasure.

"Lily! Get over here. I am tired of all this weirdness between you two. You–" Lily shot up out of her seat and quickly dashed over to the empty space beside James before Jane had the time to finish that statement. The last thing she needed was for the whole castle to know she _kissed_ James Potter.

"Fine. I am here, now what?" Lily asked moodily.

"Now what? Stop being so weird. Geezeums, you just kissed. It's not a big deal." Jane rolled her eyes before peering over Sirius' arm to see what else he had on his plate.

Sirius caught her and placed his hand on her cheek, gently shoving her face away from his food. "No, you don't. There is a whole table cram packed with food. Get your own."

James huffed and tried to focus on the Daily Prophet. He could feel the heat radiating off Lily and it filled him with a warm sense of delight. Merlin, how he wanted to touch her.

"It's awkward. That's what it is," Lily hissed at Jane, leaning over the table, trying to prevent James from hearing. She failed miserably.

"It is not." Jane shrugged. "Watch." She looked up at Sirius and said, "Swallow." He did as instructed and she pecked him on the lips. "See, nothing awkward about it." Sirius sat staring at her confusedly and scratched his head.

"That wasn't even a kiss," Lily answered, crossing her arms. _Oh, Janie, you had better watch out,_ she thought playfully. If Sirius hadn't had feelings for her before he was definitely going to now.

Jane sighed. "Fine." She rolled her eyes at Lily. "Sirius, kiss me, because I obviously don't know how to do it correctly."

Sirius gulped and glared at Lily. "Janie, are you sure you want to do that?" As if sleeping with her _alone_ three nights in a row and the first night's simple mistake hadn't been enough. Now he was going to actually kiss her, as in a real kiss, not just a kiss to make her stop crying, not just a kiss to make her laugh, but a real honest to God kiss.

"Why not?" she asked. He shrugged as if it didn't matter. His mind screaming, _No! Don't you even think about doing this, you buffoon. _

"Right now?" he asked.

"Geeze, Sirius, you would think you had never kissed someone before. Yes, now."

His grey eyes flicked to Lily, who was smiling smugly and he had the urge to hex her before cupping Jane's cheek in his hand and tilting her chin up toward him. As his lips caught hers, his blood rushed through his veins. He felt her tiny fingers weave through his hair as his tongue asked for entrance to her mouth, which she gave him thoughtlessly. He was going to regret this, he already knew. Gently, he pulled back and smiled softly at her before going back to his breakfast, his heart rate a little faster than usual.

Jane turned to Lily and arched a blonde eyebrow. "See, nothing awkward about it at all," she said stealing a sausage off Sirius' plate. She failed to mention, of course, that her entire body seemed to be tingling in the most delightful way.

O

"James," Lily said, running up to his side as he headed for Care of Magical Creatures. "We have to talk."

James shrugged and looked over to her, her cheeks pink from running and her hair windswept. He gulped and gave her a half-grin. "What about? Did McGonagall come up with another way to torture us?"

Lily shook her head. "No, no, about… before Jane," she mumbled gazing at the grass.

"Oh," James sighed, shoving his hands in his pockets. "It was just a kiss, Lily. Honestly, you obviously made a mistake. That's fine."

Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes and she had no idea why. "It wasn't a mistake. I mean, yes at the time it was, but, oh hell. I don't know. I don't regret it. It was a superb kiss," she finished in a rush.

Chuckling, James wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "A superb kiss, huh?"

She shoved him off. "Prat. I am not saying that… God, I don't know. I am sick of things being so weird between us. Let's go back to either fighting or back to whatever in was we had before we kissed. I can't handle this not meeting your eye, blushing and nervous fidgeting thing that we are doing now."

"Alright," James shrugged. "Do I need to introduce myself, again?"

Lily grinned and pecked his cheek. "No, I think I know your name. I'll see you after dinner to talk about the Halloween Feast." As she ran off back to the castle, James placed his hand on his cheek. _Lily _so _loves me!_

O

"Moony!" Jane yelled from her position on the common room floor.

Remus looked up from his book and down at her. "Janie, you don't have to yell, I am right here."

"I can't make it work," she frowned, glaring at the wet-start firework in front of her.

"Why do you want to set it off in here?" he asked, closing his book and sitting down beside her.

She shrugged. "I am testing them. I want to make sure it will work for potions tomorrow." He raised an eyebrow in question and she grinned at him. "We're having a test, so I figured if I dropped this in someone's potion and covered the room in slime I would have an extra week to study."

He laughed. "Janie, honestly, you are as wicked as James and Sirius." Jane smiled as if it was the greatest compliment in the world and Remus rolled his eyes.

"Alright, you're doing it wrong. You tap this spot." He pointed to a tiny green dot near the end of the rocket. "Not the red one. That's just to confuse the non-pranksters of the world." He ruffled her hair before standing up and going back to his book.

"Hey, Moony?" Jane asked sitting beside him as he smiled softly at her. "What are we doing for Halloween? I feel rather boxed in lately."

Sighing, he closed his book and laid his head in her lap. "Dunno, what do you want to do?" His long legs crossed at the ankles as he hung them over the arm of the sofa.

She grinned widely, her eyes alight. "Honestly? I want to go to a muggle haunted house."

"And that would be fun because…?" he asked toying with her hand.

"Because, I don't know. We've never done it before. Lily used to go on and on about a friend of hers that has a big Halloween party every year. I want to go."

"You can't invite yourself to someone else's party, Jaybird," he chuckled.

Jane kissed his forehead. "I didn't invite myself. He invites us every year, but Lily won't ever sneak out."

"Well, then, I suppose you will have to convince Lily first. Then we'll work on the guys." He smiled up at her and she toyed with his hair. "But now, let's take a nap," he said closing his eyes and trying to fade into sleep.

Jane laughed. "You might be able to sleep like this, but my legs are about to lose blood circulation." Sighing, he sat up and pushed her of the couch before lying down again and grabbing her hand, pulling her down beside him.

"Fine, have it your way," he grumbled, wrapping an arm around her to keep her on the couch and falling asleep. Jane laughed and snuggled against him before drifting off as well.

O

Upon completing his task of charming every suit of armor in the Hogwarts castle walls to throw dung bombs and spout out dirty limericks, Sirius made his way back to Gryffindor Tower. "There was a man named Mort, whose dick was decidedly short. When he climbed into bed, his lady friend said, 'That's not a dick, it's a wart,'" Sirius recited to the Fat Lady.

She raised her eyebrows and pursed her lips. "I don't believe that is the password, Mr. Black."

Sirius sighed. "Damn, James. That's what he was supposed to change it to. I will have to get on his case." The Fat Lady chuckled and Sirius ran his fingers through his hair as he mumbled, "Beelzebub." The portrait swung open and he rolled his eyes, thinking to himself, _I wonder if she realizes that is another name for Satan, _before climbing into the hole.

When he arrived in the common room, he found Jane and Remus sleeping on the couch and his stomach clenched in what was most decidedly _not_ jealousy. Or so he told himself.

Their nap together had nothing to do with the fact that he didn't say one word to Remus for the rest of the day, either. He was not jealous. Not one tiny little bit. He was angry with Moony because…because…he just was!

* * *

Author's note: So, I have no idea how often updates will be from now on for two reasons. One: I lost my original copy of the story, plus all my notes for the new version as my brother emptied my flash stick thingie and my mom restored my laptop. (Aren't families wonderful?) Two: I've recently started a new job with really weird hours which prevents me from having any sort of normal schedule. So, updates are going to be random and probably not nearly as frequent. Sorry. 


	13. Chapter 13

Funnyface

Chapter 13

_Liar_

James Potter could not get enough of it, her laughter. He often found himself trailing after her in the halls just to hear it bouncing off the stone castle walls. The way her hair danced around her shoulders, with that one errant curl that dangled just above her pink lips, when she laughed, her shoulders shaking as the sound bubbled out from her chest. Lily Evans laughter was more than addicting. And Lily Evans laughing _with_ him, was most decidedly a little piece of heaven on earth.

"What?" asked Lily, her eyes alight with curiosity as she shoved James' shoulder playfully. "You're staring at me. Do I have something in my teeth?"

"Nah," he replied with a simple smile, desperately attempting to keep his hand where it lay and away from the curl brushing against Lily's lips. "You just, you looked really happy. I haven't seen you that happy in awhile."

Lily rolled her eyes, letting her hair fall in front her face to hide her blush. "Don't pretend to be sweet, James. I know you too well to fall for that supposed 'Potter Charm' of yours."

"That's why you're blushing, huh? Because you aren't falling for my charm," queried James, jokingly.

"I am not blushing!" affirmed Lily, glancing up at him between her wine colored curls.

Grinning, James abandoned his resolve to keep his hands to himself and tucked her hair behind her ear, revealing her pink flushed cheeks. "Yes, you are. Jay does the same little 'hide behind my hair' thing. You can't fool me with that one."

Lily shrugged, feigning innocence and leaned back over the table, gesturing to their notes. "Where were we?"

"I think you were about to kiss me," whispered James, as he trailed his fingers up her spine.

"James," chided Lily, glancing up at him and he retreated unabashed.

"Fine," he moaned teasingly and Lily bit back her smile, _now_ she wanted to kiss him. "We were discussing the pumpkin issue. I don't like the idea of buying any. I mean, I know Hagrid's giant ones were destroyed by the flesh-eating slugs this year, but it's just… he worked really hard to get the second batch grown in time. What does it matter if they are a bit puny?"

Sighing heavily, Lily ran her hand through her hair. "James, we will have to work out an entirely _new_ layout for the Great Hall if we do that. Think of how time consuming it will be."

"So?" James said. "What's worse: spending a bit more time with me, or telling Hagrid his pumpkins suck?"

"James…" whined Lily.

Mimicking her tone, James said, "Lily…"

"Okay," she answered with a slight huff. "But, you have to tell Black we are going to have extra meetings next week _and_ take the blame. I refuse to spend another afternoon trying to figure out which countercharm will work to remove whatever idiotic prank he decides is a fitting punishment for 'stealing his precious Jamiekins away.'"

James chuckled. "Fine, but you tell Jane."

"Bastard," quipped Lily.

Clutching his chest as if he had been stabbed, James gasped dramatically. "I've been demoted!" He shouted, earning a chuckle and a mock glare from Lily. "I am no longer a prick! Whatever shall I do?"

Shoving his shoulder, Lily shook her head. "Shove it, Potter."

"Assault! Assault!" James yelled and Lily punched him harder.

"No, that was assault," she said with a smirk. "Now, pay attention. We have work to do, Mr. 'I don't want to hurt Hagrid's feelings.'"

O

Sirius laughed, slumping against the doorframe to the boy's dormitory as he found Jane sprawled out across his bed bouncing her feet in the air as she doodled on what appeared to be her Defense notes. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you've moved into my bed permanently."

Quirking her head to the side Jane peered at him over her shoulder. "Nah," she replied, "I couldn't do that, sharing with you is one thing, but if I moved in permanently I'd end up with you and one of your flings."

The mental image that statement drew in Sirius' mind was _not_ something he ever wanted to share with Jane. Clearing his throat, he strode foreword, dropping his bag beside the bed and sitting on the available space near Jane's head. "So, what are you pretending to be working on?"

Jane shrugged. "Actually, I'm not pretending, I didn't have anything better to do. Lily's out with James or with Snape and James is spying, and Dorcas drives me bonkers when Lily's not around."

"And Remus or Pete aren't an option?" queried Sirius, his brow raised in confusion as he debated whether he should give into his desire to touch the exposed skin of Jane's back, where her shirt had ridden up.

"Remus is in one of his brainy moods. I think it's to regain the populace's respect after we made him wander around in green tights for an entire afternoon. Pete's too busy staring at Susan Whitby's boobs to pay much attention to what I have to say," explained Jane, rolling over to her back and staring up at him.

"Oh, I see," was Sirius' distracted response as his eyes wavered from her face. He was really going to have to find a way to distance himself from her, if he didn't; he was going to end up doing something he would sorely regret.

"What?" asked Jane confusedly. "You're all… spacey."

"Just sleepy," he murmured, shoving her over a bit and laying down beside her. "Wanna take a nap? Or is that just something you do with Remus?" Sirius almost paled as the words left his lips. He hadn't meant to say that.

Jane chuckled. "Are you going to be jealous if I say yes?"

Frowning at her, Sirius shoved a pillow under his head. "Will you stop sleeping with him if I say yes?"

"Maybe," answer Jane coquettishly and Sirius scowled.

"You're not funny." He teasingly prodded her in the stomach with a finger before tugging her to him and tucking her head under his chin. "Go to sleep. You're forbidden to speak until our nap is over."

"But—"

"Sleep!" he interjected, wrapping his hand over her mouth and, muffling her giggle.

O

The sound of near silent snickering filled his ears and Remus Lupin rolled his eyes. _Why_ did he have to be surrounded by immature morons? For Merlin's sake, he'd only wore the damned things for a few hours; surely the thought wasn't that entertaining. He swore under his breath and glared down at the empty words on his page. _Ignore them, Moony. Just ignore them._

It was only a half moment later before a cocky young brunette slipped into the seat beside him. "They were stuffed, right?" her voice whispered into his ear and Remus' head shot up in shock, his pale eyes dancing in confusion.

"What?" He frowned, meeting the girl's curious gaze.

"The tights, you stuffed them, right?" she queried again and Remus paled, his face drooping.

"Why would I— oh." Blushing bright pink as realization dawned, Remus dropped his head to his hands.

The girl edged closer to him, smiling distrustfully. "Liar."

His voice squeaked as he grumbled. "Why ever would I lie— I—" As the girl's hand found its way to his 'goods,' Remus choked and she smirked widely.

"Okay, so maybe you aren't lying," she said with approval before rising from the chair and leaving his table quickly.

Remus glanced up to the giggling pack of girls across the room from him, as his assailant gave them a nod and a wink as she departed. He gaped at them, his appearance rivaling that of a goldfish.

"I've just been… been… been… oh dear Merlin," he muttered to himself before rushing from the room. He needed to speak to Sirius; _he_ knew how to handle this sort of thing.

O

Peter Pettigrew sighed quietly as he placed his book bag on the floor beside his bed and glance over at the sleeping pair across the room. He had known it was going to happen since the day in Diagon Alley that summer. The way Sirius had draped his arm around Jane's slight shoulders was more than enough sign for Peter to realize Jane was well on her way to being a notch on Sirius' bedpost. Groaning to himself, Peter shook his head, he had hoped Sirius' relationship with James would have prevented it. Honestly, he didn't think Jane was the type to just, _sleep_, with anyone, but he supposed Sirius was more than persuasive.

A rough, "Hey, Pete," dragged Peter from his thoughts and his watery blue eyes flicked to the handsome face of Sirius Black as he sat up.

"Sorry, Pads, I didn't mean to… You know… Interrupt," shuttered Peter shyly, not meeting Sirius' gaze.

Sirius laughed softly. "Interrupting what, Pete? My nap?" Chuckling, he brushed his hair from his eyes casually and lay back down, curling his arm around Jane's waist. "Pete, I wouldn't fuck Jane. For Merlin's sake, she's _Jane._" He mistakenly took the movement from Jane as an unconscious shift in her sleep.

Peter blushed, shuffling his feet as he shrugged out of his robes, turning from his friend. "Sorry, I just… well…"

"No worries," Sirius gave him a wink, "I won't tell Janie you think we're shagging."

Blushing again, Peter nodded and mumbled. "Do you want me to wake you before dinner?"

"Yeah, thanks, Wormtail," answered Sirius before snuggling back into slumber.

O

"Padfoot," Remus' frantic voice sounded in Sirius' dream-filled mind. "Padfoot."

Batting away the hand shaking his should, Sirius mumbled, "What?"

"Padfoot," breathed Remus, giving Sirius one more firm shake to assure his alertness. Sirius pried his eyes open and stared to the wide fearful eyes of Remus Lupin, as he began his whispered tale. "I think… I think… I was in the library, studying. Of course. And this…this…girl… She…well, she… assaulted me."

Sirius grumbled, "So, assault her back, Moony and let me sleep," before curling back around the pillow that mockingly paraded as Jane since her departure. "Where's Jane?"

"Sirius!" shouted Remus. "You aren't listening! She…she…she grabbed my…my… Well my…"

"Your?" muttered Sirius, crawling out bed and peering under it for Jane.

Whispering hoarsely, Remus said, "My…_package._"

Bursting out into laughter, Sirius forgot his missing 'nap buddy' and clutched his sides. "Well, Moony," he tittered, "now you know what it's like to be me."

O

'_I wouldn't fuck Jane. For Merlin's sake, she's_ Jane.' The words pounded in Jane's mind like a drum, quashing out all other sound as she stared blankly at her dinner.

"Hey Jane? Janie? Jay? Jaybird? Birdie? Bird." James called, waving a hand in front of Jane's eyes trying to gain her attention. "Annabelle!" he said and at last, her gaze drifted to him, her eyes narrowed.

"Don't call me that," she grumbled and shoved a spoonful of potatoes in her mouth.

James snorted and shook his head, mumbling, "I wouldn't have to if you would pay attention."

Fixing him with a glare, Jane spat, "Well, maybe if you _ever _had something interesting to say, I'd pay more attention, but you know, your ceaseless jealous natterings on Lily and Snape are _beyond_ dry. You could put Binns to sleep!"

Peter and Remus exchanged nervous glances that clearly stated, 'what's got Janie's knickers in a bunch?' Sirius just chuckled.

"Well, I don't see the purpose in her _eating_ with him. I mean, she's a Gryffindor; she should sit with Gryffindors. That's betrayal to her house!" James cried almost triumphantly and Jane rolled her eyes.

"James, shut it, or I swear, I'll jab your eyes out with a spork," retorted Jane and she went back to her meal. James looked momentarily affronted before settling back down and quietly moping about Lily's absence as Jane returned to her thoughts.

She wasn't, her mind stumbled over the word, _fuckable._ Why not? Sure, she was a bit of a tomboy, but she wasn't completely… well, she wasn't a Melinda Bulstrode. Why did she even care, it wasn't as if she _wanted_ to sleep with Sirius anyway? '_For Merlin's sake, she's _Jane,' the words echoed in her head again as she dropped her fork to her plate with a clang.

"Janie?" queried Sirius from across the table and she glanced up at him. "You okay?"

"Fine," she answered absently, '_I wouldn't fuck Jane,_' ringing in her ears.

"You sure?" he prodded.

Blurting out, "Why wouldn't you fuck me?" before she realized her mouth was open, Jane blushed crimson and Sirius paled.


End file.
